Marital Humour

Posted by M ws On Wednesday, July 4, 2012 3 comments
They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.

As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.

Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed.

But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.

Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person
has, you wish you had ordered that.

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr : married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
'Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything!!'

What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos?
The ones in the casinos are serious.

When I was young I used to pray for a bike,
then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

A little boy went up to his father and asked :
'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'
His father replied:
'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine.'

Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying :
'Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.'
The mother wrote back the next day:
'If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father!'

-Author Unknown-

Thanks to Angela who sent me this list.

3 comments to Marital Humour

  1. says:

    cin2tan others chit-chat for hours , biniku complains for mph (b4)...kmph (now) !

  1. says:

    cin2tan 1st ring ,door bell (chasing) .

    2nd ring , engagement (booking).

    3rd ring , wedding ( suffeRING).

    Sighs ... biniku is holding MINE tight & (some more)keeping it in the bank safety box !!

    cheers with MORE iwc ... good for the hearts wo !?

    # hey, due to my complaints(?), the NUMBERS appear in the silly robot box are very CLEAR lah !! #

  1. says:

    Antares The married couples who populate the joke universe have obviously never been exposed to David Deida!

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