Morning Humour

Posted by MWS On Monday, September 17, 2012 0 comments
A taxi driver picked up a rather simple looking fellow at the airport one day.

When the gentleman got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for.
The driver replied, "Why it's for lining it up at people so you can run them down".

"Ah I see", said the man.

With this the taxi driver starts heading straight for an elderly woman but at the last second swerves away and hears a loud bang, he looks curiously over at the passenger who is hanging out of the car with the door wide open: "I thought you were going to miss there for a minute!"

An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up.

He said, "I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what's wrong with me."

"Let's begin with a few questions," said the doctor. "Do you drink much?"

"Alcohol?" said the man. "I'm a teetotaler. Never touch a drop."

"How about smoking?" asked the doctor.

"Never," replied the man. "Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it."

"Well, uh," said the doctor, "do you have much sex life?"

"Oh, no!" said the man. "Sex is sin. I'm in bed by 10:30 every night, and I always have been."

The doctor paused, looked hard at the man, and asked, "Well, do you have pains in your head?"

"Yes," said the man. "I have terrible pains in my head."

"OK," said the doctor. "That's your trouble. Your halo is on too tight!"


Murphy applied for a fermentation operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.

An Australian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the Manager.

When the results were in, amazingly, both men had only one wrong answer.

The manager went to Murphy and said, " Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the American the job."

Murphy, "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job."

Manager, " We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."

Murphy, " And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

Manager, " Simple. On question number 7 the Australian wrote down, 'I don’t know.' "

You put down, "Neither do I."


0 comments to Morning Humour

Related Posts with Thumbnails