Fun With Puns

Posted by M ws On Tuesday, October 16, 2012 5 comments
I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met
herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity . I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

5 comments to Fun With Puns

  1. says:

    AB Cordellion Brilliant! Can't believe these are new to me... I will be annoying friends and colleagues all week with them ;)

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Hi there!

    Lovely to hear from you again. Sorry for this late response. Have been very busy.

    Am glad you like this list. A relative from San Diego sent it to my better half.

    I think it is new....cos it is the first time I had seen it too.

    Take care and keep up the wonderful writing! I read your blog from feedburner feeds :-).

    Cheers

  1. says:

    AB Cordellion Thanks MSW - yes, they had the desired effect, and thoroughly irritated everyone! Well, I found it amusing, and that's the most important thing...
    Glad you're still reading! I enjoy yours on my blogger homepage...

    speak soon

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Hi again

    Thanks for the positive comments. Specially for you, I have pre-scheduled quite a number of posts (for the next few weeks) that feature delightful puns.

    Am still wondering if you have published any of your fantastic writings. Do enlighten me :-).

    Take care and please stay in touch.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    AB Cordellion Puns are a guilty pleasure of mine, I'll look forward to it...

    Haven't published anything yet - when the time is right it will happen. Years ago I wrote a novel and my computer broke, and I lost it. Then I wrote another one - and I knew it wasn't very good. I'm starting from scratch again now, but it won't be a quick job! It could be a long time before I get anything published. In the meantime, there's my blog...

    Anyway, your opinion means a lot... thank you. And keep up the good work.
    I will definitely keep in touch - contact me any time...

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