- Don't believe what you hear about fleas and ticks -- it's all lice.
- A job circumcising elephants isn't so bad. The base salary is small but the tips are big.
- If you hear it from the horse's mouth you're listening to a neigh sayer.
- What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat? A dandy lion.
- A bird watcher had a mynah problem but with no egrets.
- Birds are grouchy in the morning because their bills are over dew.
- The marine biology seminars werent for entertainment, but were created for educational porpoises.
- A cat found a mysterious sweater, but the mystery was soon unravelled.
- Use conscience-stricken in a sentence: 'Never conscience-stricken before they're hatched.'
- Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah?
- If a cow is being fed properly but doesn't give milk there must be an udder reason.
- An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
- A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.
- It's OK to watch an elephant bathe as they usually have their trunks on.
- Several carniverous animals were eating the carcass but the king of beasts got the lion's share.
- If a horse could predict the weather, it would probably say that the weather is stable.
- Our cat sleeps on a down pillow. We've always had a soft spot for her.
- A goat that ate office supplies was on a staple diet.
- It's hard for a depressed turtle to get out of his shell.
- Scientists have created a flea from scratch.
- The farmer gave his chickens a bushel of feed, but they only took a peck.
- She thought it was a real horse, but it was a phony.
- Don't kiss birds or you may get an untweetable canarial disease.
- When a vulture flies, he takes carrion luggage.
- An angry bird landed on a door knob. Then flew off the handle.
- There was a snake that gave birth to a bouncing baby boa.
- Did you hear about the crab in financial difficulty? It was starting to feel the pinch.
- Cats are often the victims of fur-ball abuse.
- If you sight a whale, it could be a fluke.
- An eagle and a hawk had a difference of a pinion.
- One grasshopper told another about eating corn. It went in one ear and out the other.
- His job was to find a leopard as an on-the-spot reporter.
- The chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide.
- Two foxes chasing four rabbits decided to split hares.
- Birds dont mind fowl weather in fact they usually find it just ducky.
- News: a monkey at the zoo backed into a fan. Details to follow.
- Sign at a deer crossing: The Buck Stops Here.
- A kitten born in the 10th month of the year is an Octo-puss.
- Lions always take great pride in their families.
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