Lovely Animal Puns for Fun

Posted by M ws On Thursday, October 18, 2012 0 comments
  1. Don't believe what you hear about fleas and ticks -- it's all lice.
  2. A job circumcising elephants isn't so bad. The base salary is small but the tips are big.
  3. If you hear it from the horse's mouth you're listening to a neigh sayer.
  4. What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat? A dandy lion.
  5. A bird watcher had a mynah problem but with no egrets.
  6. Birds are grouchy in the morning because their bills are over dew.
  7. The marine biology seminars werent for entertainment, but were created for educational porpoises.
  8. A cat found a mysterious sweater, but the mystery was soon unravelled.
  9. Use conscience-stricken in a sentence: 'Never conscience-stricken before they're hatched.'
  10. Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah?
  11. If a cow is being fed properly but doesn't give milk there must be an udder reason.
  12. An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
  13. A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.
  14. It's OK to watch an elephant bathe as they usually have their trunks on.
  15. Several carniverous animals were eating the carcass but the king of beasts got the lion's share.
  16. If a horse could predict the weather, it would probably say that the weather is stable.
  17. Our cat sleeps on a down pillow. We've always had a soft spot for her.
  18. A goat that ate office supplies was on a staple diet.
  19. It's hard for a depressed turtle to get out of his shell.
  20. Scientists have created a flea from scratch.
  21. The farmer gave his chickens a bushel of feed, but they only took a peck.
  22. She thought it was a real horse, but it was a phony.
  23. Don't kiss birds or you may get an untweetable canarial disease.
  24. When a vulture flies, he takes carrion luggage.
  25. An angry bird landed on a door knob. Then flew off the handle.
  26. There was a snake that gave birth to a bouncing baby boa.
  27. Did you hear about the crab in financial difficulty? It was starting to feel the pinch.
  28. Cats are often the victims of fur-ball abuse.
  29. If you sight a whale, it could be a fluke.
  30. An eagle and a hawk had a difference of a pinion.
  31. One grasshopper told another about eating corn. It went in one ear and out the other.
  32. His job was to find a leopard as an on-the-spot reporter.
  33. The chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide.
  34. Two foxes chasing four rabbits decided to split hares.
  35. Birds dont mind fowl weather in fact they usually find it just ducky.
  36. News: a monkey at the zoo backed into a fan. Details to follow.
  37. Sign at a deer crossing: The Buck Stops Here.
  38. A kitten born in the 10th month of the year is an Octo-puss.
  39. Lions always take great pride in their families.

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