Weekend Humour

Posted by M ws On Saturday, March 23, 2013 0 comments
Three Mothers, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were all talking about their daughters.

The Brunette said 'I was looking through my daughters things and I found cigarettes. I can't believe my daughter smokes.'

The redhead said 'Ladies, I was looking through my daughters things and I found a bottle of liquor. I can't believe my daughter drinks.'

The Blonde said 'I was looking through my daughters things and I found a pack of condoms. I can't believe my daughter has a penis!'

Did you hear about the two blonde thieves that stole a calendar? They each got six months.


A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building. He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, 'Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?' The blond answers in a very weak voice, 'We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings...'


Two men were talking about their jobs. 'The company where I work is putting in a computer system and it is going to put a lot of people out of work. Have they started that over where you work?' 'Oh,' said his friend, 'We've been on computers for more than five years but they can't replace me. Nobody has been able to figure out exactly what I do.'


How Physics finally turns out to be useful!Engineers, programmers, and scientists can never earn as much salaryas business executives, contract administrators or sales people. (andpharmacists???)

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equationbased on the following two postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:

Work ------ = Power Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have:

Work ------ = Knowledge Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work ---------------- = Money Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity,
regardless of the amount of Work done.

Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make


I had been teaching my three-year old daughter the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: 'Lead us not into temptation,' she prayed, 'but deliver us some E-mail. Amen.'

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