masterwordsmith-unplugged

The little Indian boy came to his father one day asking,Father? How does our tribe choose names for the children?

The father smiled, My son, as you know our tribe lives atone with nature. So when a child in born in our village the father will go into the wilderness to see what sign is givenas to what he is to name the child.

Yes, Father. said the boy.

When the father is on this pilgrimage if he were tosee an eagle soaring high in the sky it would mean he shouldname the child Flying Eagle. Or perhaps the sign would be adeer running across the meadow. Then the child would be giventhe name Running Deer. Does this answer your question,Two-Dogs-****ing?

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A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO (health maintenance organization) have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their lives.

The doctor says, "I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for and healing thousands of poor people."

Saint Peter says, "That's great. Go ahead into heaven. And what about you, nurse?"

The nurse says, "I've supported the good doctor and his patients my entire life as an adult."

Saint Peter replies, "Wonderful. Please proceed in with the doctor. And what about you?"

The HMO director says, "I was the president of a very large HMO and was responsible for the healthcare of millions of people all over the country." Saint Peter says, "Oh, I see. Please go in ... but you can only stay two nights!"

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Yet another tale -- this one also true. A Wells Fargo EquityLinestatement of 2 Feb 1988 carried the following message at the bottom:

You owe your soul to the company store. Why not owe your home to WellsFargo? An equity advantage loan can help you spend what would have beenyour children's inheritance.

On February 11 Wells Fargo sent out the following letter:

I wish to extend my personal apology for a message printed on yourEquity Line statement dated February 2, 1988.This message was not a legitimate one. It was developed as part of atest program by a staff member, whose sense of humor was somewhatmisplaced, and it was inadvertently inserted in that day's statementmailing. The message in no way conveys the opinion of Wells Fargo Bankor
its employees. [...]

James G. Jones, Executive Vice President, South Bay Service Center

Wells Fargo spokesperson Kim Kellogg said, 'From now on, we're justgoing to type, 'Testing One, Two, Three' at the bottom.

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'Classic' Computer Comments

'I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.'
... Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943


'Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.'
... Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

'I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year.'
... Editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

'But what ... is it good for?'
... Engineer at Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on microchip

'There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.'
... Ken Olson, President, Chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

'640K ought to be enough computer memory for anyone'
... Bill Gates, Chairman of Microsoft

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