masterwordsmith-unplugged

A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail.

The bus driver,caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch.

A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage.

Finding the politician, she buries them.

The next day, the police come to the farm to question theman. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the policeofficer. "Were they all dead?"

The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

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How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two.

One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
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Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell.

So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home.Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff."

When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked - St.Peter is having lunch - and they start debating what to do.

Finally, one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the luggage.

As they are climbing the walln, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, "My goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more tha ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!"
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A doctor, an engineer, and a politician werearguing as to which profession was older.

"Well," argued the doctor, "without a physician mankind could not have survived, so I am sure that mine is the oldest profession."

"No," said the engineer, "before life began there was complete chaos, and it took an engineer to create some semblance of order from this chaos.So engineering is older."

"But," chirped the triumphant politician,"who created the chaos?"

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Capitalist and Socialist Hell

A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell.

When he got there,he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell.

In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly longline, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell.

So the executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"

"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," the guard replied."

And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"

"The same exact thing," the guard answered."

Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"

"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!"
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 Definition:Politics Poli (Poly): Many... . Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures