I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, “The Titanic is syncing.”
With the Ark settled safely after the flood, Noah opens the doors and commands the animals, “Go forth and multiply!” All the animals depart the Ark, except for two snakes in the back. Noah proclaims again, “Go forth and multiply,” yet the snakes stay put. Perturbed, Noah finally asks them, “Why have you not followed my command?” The snakes flicker their tongues and answer, “We can’t multiply, Noah—we’re Adders.”
Q: Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?
A: Because you should never drink and derive.
Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
A: He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.
The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic. But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
Q: Why are football stadiums so cool?
A: Because every seat has a fan in it!