It is truly gratifying for me to say that I have finally found myself and am happy, in fact, at the happiest point in my life. If I were to go tomorrow, I can say I have lived with no regrets.
Looking back, I learnt the following lessons.
1. I learnt not to worry or fret if things don't work out the way I want. For e.g. if there is no parking space, just go round and round to look for one. If there is an idiotic driver in front of me, just carry on following him and thank him for helping me to drive safely.
2. I learnt not to get angry. If someone says something which is not in line with my perspective, just let it go. No need to argue. It is a problem that he/she has to deal with and not one that I should resolve.
3. I learnt not to feel deeply if I cannot handle it. To illustrate, my dog and I were attacked by a Rottweiller last week and I learnt to forgive the man who did not put the gigantic dog on a leash and who did not come to my rescue but watched the scenario 30 feet away. I learnt to be thankful for the fact that my dog and I were not injured.
It was a pleasant evening so I took Tiger for a walk in my neighbourhood. When I saw the Rottweiller about 40 feet away, I turned and led Tiger in the opposite direction. I was petrified as my eyes had met that of the Rottweiller. In seconds, he was before me and lunged at Tiger. I pulled Tiger up in the air by the leash and swung him around in the air!!!! Then the leash came off and Tiger landed on his feet and the Rotten Rottweiller attacked him - both snarling at each other. To my amazement, Tiger hid under the Rotten Rottweiller's body - my pint-sized Westie stood comfortably under that fiend and he snarled at the dog's t*sti*** ready to bite if the Rotten Rottweiller did anything. Insane with fear and panic, I was glued to the ground - and wondered what would be worse - me mauled by the rottie or Tiger mauled or Tiger running away and me not being able to catch him. All the while, the owner stood THIRTY FEET AWAY and shouted - he will not bite as he is just a puppy. Ya - right. I screamed like a hyena but no one came to my aid - NOT EVEN THE COWARDLY owner who still stood 30 ft away and later threw a PEBBLE at the dogs. I called out for Tiger and the brave westie came towards me and let me put on his leash. Then I carried him and we went off with me scolding the owner for being so irresponsible. Thank God both Tiger and I were safe although we were both very shaken for an hour or so.
4. I learnt to forget the past. If someone has done wrong in the past...let it be. FORGIVE. Start on a new slate. I don't bear grudges but when people used to remind me of some episodes, the anger would return. Now, I learnt not to get angry or disappointed in all circumstances. I reserve my feelings for happiness and joy and not to take life so seriously. Just laugh it off or brush it aside. :-)
5. I learnt to take one day at a time. I do not live by the clock nor am I ruled by people's opinions or dirt on the floor so I learnt to let go....to close one eye to dirt on the floor by sweeping it and telling myself - it is ok..just sweep and not get angry that my 'precious' floor is dirty. It is no big deal.
I found happiness in just being positive...being happy by being who I am.
I found happiness in not living in a box. If I want to take a longer time strolling in the garden, I just do it without worrying if it is time for Tiger's dinner.
If I want to spend...just spend lah without worrying if I have enough money to last a month.
Most of all, I learnt to treasure what is beautiful, important, precious and real without being sentimental.
And I am happy.
What a difference it has made in my life!
Three days ago, I spent the whole day and evening with a very precious friend - my one and only old friend left in Penang (the others migrated or moved to KL). There have been many times I wanted to visit her and to treasure what we share but was bound by my son's activities. Since it's the school break, we arranged to meet and ate, shopped, laughed and had such a great time together.
And when I said shopped, we really shopped haha...I bought 2 pairs of pants, 1 pair of shorts, a skirt, household stuff, a blouse, a shirt for my son and other stuff. And we ate so much..at the Japanese vegetarian restaurant for lunch and later had tea at Winter Warmers, Queensbay Mall after our shopping. After tea, we shopped again! What a wonderful day spent together. I have known her since 1991.
Happiness is a state of mind. I learnt not to be boxed by past experiences, by fears of the future or by expectations.
Many of the above lessons - I learnt them from my dog, Tiger!!!
Tiger has no cares in this world. He worries not, takes little offense to other animals. By nature, he should hate cats but after initial apprehension, had no qualms about getting to know a cat who 'adopted' us. This tabby cat purrs in a manja manner whenever she sees Tiger and me and sleeps on my doorstep. She approaches Tiger in a friendly manner. Initially, he would be on guard (without barking) and through the weeks, they finally made contact with no incident. Then, one evening, the cat entered my house via the front door. I was the one who screamed from the fear that he would attack her ...No such thing...The tabby just ran away from my scream and sadly, never returned. So sad! See the photos:
Tiger looking apprehensively at the cat who was about to enter my home..
See Tiger's cocked ears - :-) He was not vicious or unhospitable to the cat...Just kept quiet while I was screaming away :-)
Tiger accepted the car despite inherent instinctive apprehension about the cats. He gave both the cat and himself the chance to get to know each other! It was me who was the epic failure :-).
And my dog just loves to watch Pokemon videos..:-) He knows what he likes...pursues it and throws caution to the wind even though he is aware of the scolding he will get once my husband sees him on the bed. He even watched the Thomas Cup finals with me on Sunday evening!
Tiger has changed my life in so many bizarre ways and has made such a difference to my life!
I just learnt to let go and to be happy because life is too short to sweat over anything.
Wishing everyone happiness that lasts....:-)