The Retired Sailor and Other Jokes

Posted by Unknown On Tuesday, August 19, 2014 0 comments

A man speaks frantically into the phone,
"My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"


"Hey Bill... Do you talk to your wife while you are having sex?"

"Only if there's a phone handy", Bill replied


An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times sake. He finds a little prostitute and goes up into the room with her, draping his sailor suit across the bed.

He's goin' at it as best he can for a guy his age and asks, "How am I doin'?"

The whore says, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."

What's that?" he asks.

She says, "You're 'knot' hard, you're 'knot' in, and you're 'knot' getting your money back!"

A little boy asked his mother:
- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
- Don't even ask me that, when I remember that party...,
you're lucky you don't bark

Thanks to Mr TSK for sharing. Posted for laughs. Have a nice day.

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