masterwordsmith-unplugged

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question:

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?" "None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly off."

"The correct answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like your thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married ?

Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking her cone?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you think!"
__________________

TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."


TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!

-TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BALGOBIN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


-TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


-TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Balgobin!


-TEACHER: Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
BALGOBIN: Me!


TEACHER: Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?
BALGOBIN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


-BALGOBIN: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
BALGOBIN: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
BALGOBIN: Don't bite any.

-TEACHER: Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I".
BALGOBIN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."
BALGOBIN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

-TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
BALGOBIN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."


TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
BALGOBIN: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"


-BALGOBIN: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER: No. Why do you ask that?
BALGOBIN: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


-TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.


-TEACHER: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?
BALGOBIN: Brotherly love?

-TEACHER: Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
BALGOBIN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.


-TEACHER: Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BALGOBIN: No, teacher, it's the same dog!


-TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
BALGOBIN: A teacher