Years ago when I was lecturing in the A-level program, I remember doing a series of lectures on Cancer. Much to my surprise, I discovered that many cancer patients had one thing in common - negative issues, anger and unforgiveness in their lives. Unforgiveness is one of the deadliest poisons a person can take spiritually. It causes everything from mental depression, to health problems such as cancer and arthritis. I'm not saying that in every single case of cancer, it is due to unforgiveness, but I am saying that it can cause cancer.
Some think they cannot forgive. We can. It is a conscious choice that we make - it is up to us to let it go, to forgive or to harbor hurts, grudges and to let it gnaw at our heart and cause problems. There are those who bear grudges against me or form negative perceptions of me based on past incidents and it does not bother me the least bit. It used to but not any more.
There are more important things in life than to gloat over petty issues and to make a mountain out of a molehill so I steer away as far as the east is from the west from such characters. I consciously choose to let it go, to forgive them, to bless them and to wish them well as I move on; in doing so, I am happier. Associating with people who share the same philosophy in life and staying as far away as possible from people who gossip, condemn, criticize, grumble, nit-pick on never-ending fault-finding missions is a healthier way to live. Fact is, it takes great courage, and a commitment of the heart, to forgive those we thought should love us and never hurt us.
I was not like this before but the challenging situations and people I encountered in the past few months taught me these lessons and gave me the strength to fortify myself, not to make stupid mistakes, not to grovel before others for acceptance or to be made the subject of condemnation/criticism but more importantly, I have learnt to hold my head high and to preserve my dignity. Instead of looking at others, I look at myself, try to discover faults and weaknesses and work to improve in those areas of weakness that I may live life to the max for those whom I love.
Boy oh boy! What a difference that has made to my life! Just as we cannot love everybody, we cannot expect everybody to love us cos we are only human! So I take the best out of life and whatever that brings me negativism, I let it go, consciously choose to leave it behind, bear no grudges and think of it no more; after all, we are all human and prone to err.
And what does that mean? Essentially, it means that the love within us can heal and let go of the hurt and pain of the past, liberating ourselves to enjoy the present and future in a greater, richer way than before. Forgiving is actually a gift we give to ourselves. Forgiving is fully a celebration of the heart because it is a wonder of wisdom, courage and love over the lesser emotions of resentment, fear, anger and self-doubt, which limit our present capacity for joy and fulfilment. We need to have a conversation on forgiving with ourselves; to touch into the experience of what forgiving could mean; to accept that sometimes, it is just not possible to forgive but we can and we have to once we recognize the value of forgiving.
Through the freedom that forgiving brings to us, we gain the capacity for greater joy, laughter and celebration. Forgiving is like a spiritual spring clean that results not only in greater peace of mind, but also in a renewal of energy, enthusiasm and appetite for living.
We are all quite like unpolished diamonds. The diamond is a gem we associate with love, beauty and endurance; a crystal which is composed of the element, carbon. In order for diamonds to form, they require extremely high pressures and temperatures, which are only found in the deep levels of the earth. Are we not diamonds in the making as we go through and overcome different challenges in life?
A polished diamond has many facets - each reflects light from a different angle. So too with forgiveness which will help us to see life from different facets and in doing so, experience life in a deeper manner.
Do you love flowers? I love roses, carnations, tulips, lavender and violets. Have you ever inhaled the scent of violets? Lately, I have associated the power of forgiveness with the violet, both in the colour and its most powerful scent - penetrating and yet gentle. Strange is it not that the violet is so small and yet the scent is so strong? That's the way it is with forgiveness - the feelings and love we need to forgive is very powerful, subtle and pure. Mark Twain once said, "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
So my wish for you dear reader is to let it go - whatever that is hurting you or whatever/whoever that has disappointed you.forgive..you can do it...and I pray you will have a wonderful day and fruitful living today and always...
Here are some beautiful quotations which helped me in my life.. God bless you, have a wonderful day with your loved ones and take care!!!
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“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”
Bryant H. McGill
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
Robert Muller
“Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.”
Oscar Wilde quotes (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
Lewis B. Smedes
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Mahatma Gandhi
“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”
Sara Paddison
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”
Thomas S. Szasz quotes (Hungarian psychiatrist and Professor of Psychiatry Emeritus at State University of New York Health Science Center in Syracuse, b.1920)
That moment inside of you where you forgive, what’s happened is the moment when you are enlightening yourself.
John-Roger
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
William Blake
The glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness,
William Blake
Forgiveness is giving up the idea that the past could have had different results.
Unknown
Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.
Leo F. Buscaglia
Let us forgive each other - only then will we live in peace.
Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
1. Walt There was a time I only forgave, those seeking to be forgiven. The obstinate, and unrepentant evil people I did not tolerate. Now only evil is on my list. I have little time to dwell on the obstinate.