I was skyping this morning with my dear friend, Angela, when my younger son ran downstairs to tell me that Mishy died and his left eye was missing.
Very funny, I thought to myself. How could the eye be missing? How could he be dead??? My younger boy protested that it was the truth and that it looked eaten up (probably by a lizard). For two hours, I tried to suppress my grief and did not go up to check on his carcass. And then I could put it off no more.
At the point of typing this post, the dam has burst. Much as I had prepared myself for it, I wanted to be there during his last moments like when Mimi passed away but that had been such a traumatically painful experience. I walked upstairs to my roof terrace, stared at the deep blue sea and Penang Bridge in the distance, braced myself for the worst and walked to the cage. Subconsciously, I did not dare to go up to see him yesterday evening. And so slowly but surely, I walked to his cage.
There he lay, asleep and never to awake, minus one left eye. I am glad he must have died in his sleep without much suffering. Could it have been from a weak heart? He had not been working out on the cartwheel for some time now..
Last week, he had been more dormant and unresponsive. Most unusual. When I shook the box of yoghurt treats which he loved, there was no response. It was the same when I shook the container of sunflower seeds. He would normally jump up from his sleeping position and come readily to the door of the cage and let me hand feed him. If he was deep in sleep, I would then put either the yoghurt treat or a sunflower seed at his nose and he would open his eyes suddenly and grab it. But there had been no such reaction for the past two days.The last time I saw him yesterday at about noon and he seemed to have shrunk in size and had become so thin.
And now, I cannot tell you the deep pain and heartache I have in my heart. I had prepared myself for his demise for the past two weeks and cherished all the moments I spent with him. Much as I love to have pets, the pain of losing them to Death is always such a traumatic experience.
Why is it that hamsters have such a short life span of about two years? Of the many hamsters I have had so far, only ONE - Momo, lived for 30 months, wobbling around in her old age. Mishy's condition just deteriorated after his second birthday on June 4th.
And I will miss him terribly...just as I miss Mimi, Mei Mei, Mushy, Momo, Mau Mau, Sushi, Sashimi and Kiki. But I am glad he died in his sleep from old age and did not have to suffer like Mimi or Mei Mei.
Mishy, I will think of you every morning...Hanging the laundry will not be the same again as you are not there to play with me in between my chores...When I miss you, it's my way of telling you I love you even though you are not there any more...I will think of you every time I feel the breeze caressing my face.
I will miss the way you looked at me with your head raised high up and how you used to allow me to pat you so gently as you close your eyes in ecstasy. I will miss the way you scuttled around the cage trying to hide your sunflower seeds and also the way you could crack open four sunflower seeds consecutively without devouring them but storing them in your cheeks. I will miss the way you begged me to play with you with your paws raised on the bars of the cage and your eyes calling out to me to let you out.
How can I ever forget the way you let me tickle your belly with your paws all raised in the air as if you were a dog?
How can I ever forget the way you rolled onto your side to let me tickle your neck and behind your ears?
You have taught me to love and to give no matter what and to overcome the barrier of language for we needed none. All we needed was a heart of love and eyes that could radiate what we feel. A single touch or a squeak was all we ever needed to tell the other how much we love each other. You taught me the meaning of unconditional love...and you accepted me just the way I am and did not get angry with me for the times I was late in playing with you or for forgetting to give you your favorite broccoli or carrot sticks...You carried on loving me and giving me the same adoration, love and affection no matter what...
Mishy, how can I ever forget you????? How can I forget that you would bite everyone else but not me?? It matters to me to know that you knew that I love you so and that you loved me so much too :-(...
For all the joy, happiness and melting moments you breathed into my life, for the way in which you had a no holds barred way of showing me love, for the boundless energy you displayed in doing the things you love, for all the wonderful times we spent together my beloved Mishy, you will always have a place in my heart and I will never stop loving you.....
Goodbye Mishy.....May you be happy in hammy heaven. I will always miss you...And now the tears will continue as I have to send my boy and his girlfriend to the bus station :-(. Oh what a day!!!
Please click THIS LINK to see a touching flash movie about saying goodbye to a pet.
*Update. It is now 2.48p.m and I cannot stop crying. And I miss him so....and I miss my boy too...Why did it have to be a double blow today? For those of you with pets, please love them and treasure all those precious moments you have with them...
Anonymous Oh no! I am so sorry to hear that your pet has passed on. Do hamsters normally have short lifespan? I've never had a hamster for a pet before. My sister did. But hers never live long either. So she gave up after hamster #2 and got herself a rabbit.