I was skyping this morning with my dear friend, Angela, when my younger son ran downstairs to tell me that Mishy died and his left eye was missing.
Very funny, I thought to myself. How could the eye be missing? How could he be dead??? My younger boy protested that it was the truth and that it looked eaten up (probably by a lizard). For two hours, I tried to suppress my grief and did not go up to check on his carcass. And then I could put it off no more.
At the point of typing this post, the dam has burst. Much as I had prepared myself for it, I wanted to be there during his last moments like when Mimi passed away but that had been such a traumatically painful experience. I walked upstairs to my roof terrace, stared at the deep blue sea and Penang Bridge in the distance, braced myself for the worst and walked to the cage. Subconsciously, I did not dare to go up to see him yesterday evening. And so slowly but surely, I walked to his cage.
There he lay, asleep and never to awake, minus one left eye. I am glad he must have died in his sleep without much suffering. Could it have been from a weak heart? He had not been working out on the cartwheel for some time now..
Last week, he had been more dormant and unresponsive. Most unusual. When I shook the box of yoghurt treats which he loved, there was no response. It was the same when I shook the container of sunflower seeds. He would normally jump up from his sleeping position and come readily to the door of the cage and let me hand feed him. If he was deep in sleep, I would then put either the yoghurt treat or a sunflower seed at his nose and he would open his eyes suddenly and grab it. But there had been no such reaction for the past two days.
The last time I saw him yesterday at about noon and he seemed to have shrunk in size and had become so thin.
And now, I cannot tell you the deep pain and heartache I have in my heart. I had prepared myself for his demise for the past two weeks and cherished all the moments I spent with him. Much as I love to have pets, the pain of losing them to Death is always such a traumatic experience.
Why is it that hamsters have such a short life span of about two years? Of the many hamsters I have had so far, only ONE - Momo, lived for 30 months, wobbling around in her old age. Mishy's condition just deteriorated after his second birthday on June 4th.
And I will miss him terribly...just as I miss Mimi, Mei Mei, Mushy, Momo, Mau Mau, Sushi, Sashimi and Kiki. But I am glad he died in his sleep from old age and did not have to suffer like Mimi or Mei Mei.
Mishy, I will think of you every morning...Hanging the laundry will not be the same again as you are not there to play with me in between my chores...When I miss you, it's my way of telling you I love you even though you are not there any more...I will think of you every time I feel the breeze caressing my face.
I will miss the way you looked at me with your head raised high up and how you used to allow me to pat you so gently as you close your eyes in ecstasy. I will miss the way you scuttled around the cage trying to hide your sunflower seeds and also the way you could crack open four sunflower seeds consecutively without devouring them but storing them in your cheeks. I will miss the way you begged me to play with you with your paws raised on the bars of the cage and your eyes calling out to me to let you out.
How can I ever forget the way you let me tickle your belly with your paws all raised in the air as if you were a dog?
How can I ever forget the way you rolled onto your side to let me tickle your neck and behind your ears?
You have taught me to love and to give no matter what and to overcome the barrier of language for we needed none. All we needed was a heart of love and eyes that could radiate what we feel. A single touch or a squeak was all we ever needed to tell the other how much we love each other. You taught me the meaning of unconditional love...and you accepted me just the way I am and did not get angry with me for the times I was late in playing with you or for forgetting to give you your favorite broccoli or carrot sticks...You carried on loving me and giving me the same adoration, love and affection no matter what...
Mishy, how can I ever forget you????? How can I forget that you would bite everyone else but not me?? It matters to me to know that you knew that I love you so and that you loved me so much too :-(...
For all the joy, happiness and melting moments you breathed into my life, for the way in which you had a no holds barred way of showing me love, for the boundless energy you displayed in doing the things you love, for all the wonderful times we spent together my beloved Mishy, you will always have a place in my heart and I will never stop loving you.....
Goodbye Mishy.....May you be happy in hammy heaven. I will always miss you...And now the tears will continue as I have to send my boy and his girlfriend to the bus station :-(. Oh what a day!!!
Please click THIS LINK to see a touching flash movie about saying goodbye to a pet.
*Update. It is now 2.48p.m and I cannot stop crying. And I miss him so....and I miss my boy too...Why did it have to be a double blow today? For those of you with pets, please love them and treasure all those precious moments you have with them...
10 comments to HE DIED :-(.
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Unknown My dear Andrea,
Thanks so much for your compassion. It is so painful to lose them and of all my hamsters, I love Mimi and Mishy the most...
Hamsters normally have a short life span of about two years.
I had rabbits before too but hamsters are more adorable, more loving and more responsive.
I still cannot stop crying :-(.
Thanks dear Andrea...
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Starmandala Two hamster years is the equivalent of 80 human years, Paula. Your beloved Mishy was fortunate to have enjoyed a wonderful lifetime in your loving and happy household as a member of the family. No hamster could wish for more, short of being able to start life anew in the wild... but I doubt hamsters can survive except as pets for humans. They are here to inspire compassion and soften even the hardest hearts, and to teach little children how to nurture and befriend otherv lifeforms. Bless your mushy soul for dedicating this blogpost as a farewell to Mishy!
On 25 May I lost two beautiful canine members of the Magick River family - Lulu & Rupert - under the most unpleasant circumstances. These canines were in the prime of health and were denied at least 12 more years of a blissful life lived in freedom, comfort & joy.
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ndhaniya Oh no!!! :( :( :( I"m so sorry Ms Khoo. I know how difficult it is to lose a pet, but no one can truly say they understand just what Mishy meant to you. I'm sure he had a beautiful life, and you to thank for it :)
Be strong, and I know you will always hold on to the memory of Mishy. My warmest thoughts to you... Hugs
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Unknown My dear Antares,
Thank you very much my dear friend for your very warm, compassionate and wise words of comfort. Truly, we gave him our best in terms of food, love, attention and a lovely home for him to live.
Indeed you are wise to say that hamsters are one of the best creatures to teach us, especially children, how to love, to give of ourselves and how to show a little bit of love and kindness everyday. That they reciprocate with unconditional love is the greatest reward I can ever dream of. Yes, I am a mushy soul indeed and incidentally - Mishy's brother was Mushy who died of a tumor a few months ago.
I am so sorry to hear about Lulu and Rupert's unexpected passing in unpleasant circumstances. They must have been pups but I am sure in the short time they were on earth in your household, you showed them your pure love and devotion and I am sure their spirits are hovering around, watching over you and yours.
Take care dearest Antares...and thanks so much for your beautiful words.
hugs and much love
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Unknown Hi my dear Nisha,
Thanks for your comforting words my dear. It was only last week when you were at my place and I was reminiscing about my two dogs Jody and Prince and how I cried so much after reading "Marley and Me' and now Mishy is gone. Most untimely...for tomorrow, I promised Nick to adopt a dog from SPCA and now, I am not sure if I can go ahead with the plan and I am quite certain that if I back out, he will be quite devastated.
Yes, he did have a beautiful life my dear...I actually gave him to a student when he was a month old cos at that time, I had many hamsters. Then Michelle returned him to me complete with a high-tech cage and luxurious shampoo, vitamins etc. Initially, he was unfriendly and arrogant but soon enough, as I showed him love, attention and played with him everyday, he warmed up to me and we had been inseparable!
Even when I go away for short trips, I call home to check on him!!!
Sigh...it is terribly difficult to lose a pet...Thanks. I know I have to be strong and I will always remember Mishy till the day I die...the same way I remember Jody, Prince, Mimi and all my other pets...
Take care my dear...thanks for stopping by and pls keep in touch.
hugs and much love
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mamasita Dear Paula..I am so sad to hear your pet hamster is dead.
We now know we cannot take our pets for granted. We mustn't think that we will not cry when they're gone.
I hope you'll have a good good cry and please do not grieve too long..easier said than done..hmmmh!
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Unknown My dear Datin Mamasita,
Thanks so much dear friend. Yes, I did have a really good cry and still have tears in my eyes. It is very painful.
This evening, my husband took me to a pet shop to get new hamsters but looking at the young spirited hamsters reminded me so much of the youthful days of Mishy...
I believe in time ...the pain will be lessened and hopefully by then, I can get new hamsters...
Thanks a lot and take care.
Salam
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Doc Dearest Paula,
sorry for your loss. Pets are your best friend because they don't judge and are always there with you through thick or thin. That creates a very strong bond between man (and woman) and his/her pet. At least you are stronger than me. I simply refuse to have another pet because i don't dare not face the grief (as i had once before).
You're a strong person and you'll come through! Hang in there.
Take care
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Unknown Hi Dr. Saravanan,
Thanks so much for your heartfelt message and condolences. I appreciate it and agree with all that you said. I am much like you..Do your kids have any pets?
Yes, thank goodness I am much stronger now thanks to your advice and support :-)...
Hanging in here :-) but still missing him terribly. Even though he was but a tiny rodent, the house seems eerily empty without him around.
Take care and please keep in touch!
Cheers
Anonymous Oh no! I am so sorry to hear that your pet has passed on. Do hamsters normally have short lifespan? I've never had a hamster for a pet before. My sister did. But hers never live long either. So she gave up after hamster #2 and got herself a rabbit.