BLAKELY'S JOURNEY TO NOBLICLE Chapter 3

Posted by Unknown On Wednesday, September 16, 2009 13 comments
Dear reader, my younger boy who just turned 11 last week started writing his short story called "Blakely's Journey to Noblicle" a few months ago during his school holidays.

CHAPTER 1 THE FIRST OBSTACLE - WITCHES & LEPRECHAUNS can be found at THIS LINK HERE.

CHAPTER 2 A DAY WITH THE GORDON can be found at THIS LINK HERE.

Alternatively, you can read Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 at the end of this post.

Nicholas finished Chapter 3 Snubby's Quest some time back but I have been quite lazy to type it so this delinquent mother is most repentant and is putting it up in my blog today. Enjoy reading and do leave a comment if you like.

Before I forget, Nicholas wishes to express his heartfelt appreciation to Antares for his very professional critique of his first two chapters which motivated him to put in extra effort to hone his skills, and also to Andrea, Dr. Murali, Angela and other readers for their very encouraging comments which have made him take his writing very seriously. And now without further ado, the third chapter of Blakely's Journey to Noblicle.

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CHAPTER 3 SNUBBY'S QUEST

Blakely calmly took the road that led to Tyrantland. He had heard that Tyrantland did not have any clean drinking water for the ground was covered with cracks and dried leaves shed by the barren trees. He crossed many bridges and hiked many hills before reaching Tyrantland. By then, he was completely exhausted.

While he was walking along a narrow road, he heard the beating of some drums and the sound of some ancient music being played from afar. Scorchio ran straight ahead and Blakely had no choice but to catch up with him. After a few minutes, he was panting and saw a sign that read "TYRANNIA". Then he became quite confused between Tyrantland and Tyrannia so he continued to run after Scorchio who had surged ahead.

At last, Blakely found Scorchio with a group of strange people who were gasping in delight as they gazed at a fire-eater who was juggling a few torches.Blakely then took the opportunity to ask a few of them for some information about Snubby the Imp. He was then told to go to the edge of the town where he lived in his caravan.

Blakely opened his Book of Knowledge to find out what attracted imps. "You must have plenty of water and some honey. They love to gamble with cards most of the time. By then, Scorchio started to have a headache and jumped into Blakely's bag to rest. Blakely remembered the money that Scorchio had stolen . With it, he bought three jars of honey. Scorchio started to whimper when they were at the stall. Blakely suspected something was amiss and turned to his left.

A small dwarf was standing beside him and staring at the bottles of honey.

dwarf Pictures, Images and Photos

"For me? asked the dwarf, pleading again and again.

"For Snubby," replied Blakely.

"Get into my caravan and I'll tell you something. Who does not know the famous gambler in Tyrannia? Hah!" laughed the dwarf.

gypsy caravan Pictures, Images and Photos

"I am the person you are looking for, Snubby, the King of Cards. Muaaahahahaha! cried the dwarf.

Blakely had no idea that this would happen.

"What I want from you is for you to explain in detail my character as you must be very intelligent since you are such a good card player," said Blakely softly.

"That's kids' stuff for me. Correction - donkey work to be more precise. You are very good when it comes to outdoor activities but you do not have much brains, air head!" laughed Snubby wickedly.

"But you can be very emotional and have great potential to be a good leader," added Snubby with a smile on his face.

"What is my precise task over here? Why was I told to come to Tyrannia to look for you?" asked Blakely as he shrugged his shoulders with a puzzled look on his face.

"Your mission is to retrieve King Alteon's crown. A witch told you that you have to go on my quests for some reward. Alianor never knows how to keep her mouth shut, does she? replied Snubby.

reyna Pictures, Images and Photos

"Well, since you want my quest, you've got it," said Snubby with a sneering look.

"So what is my quest?" asked Blakely again.

"It's quite simple really. But you will need an armour to protect your body from danger. I'll also give you some robes that belonged to a famous wizard of old. Your pet would need something too. I'll give it a solid iron armour that belonged to one of my pets," said Snubby.

"Do you have a changing room in your caravan?" asked Blakely.

"Go straight till you reach the end. The room is on your left. Be careful, though, because the caravan is a bit run down," replied Snubby.

Blakely looked quite odd in the very mythical-looking robes and so did Scorchio in his iron armour that had many Aztec designs.

"Your first quest is to run on the tracks to cross the red swamp which is just behind my house. Climb the mountain and enter the cave where a giant lives. I want you to get me one of his teeth and a strand of his hair. By the way, what's your pet's name?"

"Snubby, meet Scorchio. Please don't pat him as he will bite," warned Blakely.

"You had better set off on your quest before time runs out. The color of the crown is starting to change from green to red. The city of Larousse will become extinct if the crown turns completely red," said Snubby.

"Alright! Off we'll go now!" See ya!" cried Blakely as he ran off with Scorchio.

"Good luck! Remember - the tooth and just a strand of hair.

*to be continued*

Written by Nicholas Khor

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BLAKELY'S JOURNEY TO NOBLICLE - written by Nick

PROLOGUE

The city of Larousse was in danger. The fairy king's emerald crown had been stolen by SBSN (Secret Branch Society of Noblicle). The sun never shone again after that and the people lost their power because of the magic sunshine. Lives were lost when a trail of wagons crashed into the gates of the castle and strange explosions caused a fire that spread through the city. It was bad enough that the city was having drought problems but the Nobgoblins had to worsen the situation with their vicious attacks.

In a bid to defend his city, King Alteon, the fairy king, fought the leader of the SBSN in a hand combat and ended up being pushed out of the window of his castle. Before slipping into a coma, the fairy king put a princely sum for the Nobgoblins' heads. Two months later, he died.

Blakely, a villager from far off near the coast, heard about the reward from his grandfather and decided to go on an adventure to the city of Larousse for more information and to help them.

CHAPTER 1 THE FIRST OBSTACLE - WITCHES & LEPRECHAUNS

"Blakely, you don't have to do it. You will suffer pain and it might be hell throughout the journey," said his grandfather while Blakely was packing his bags.

Blakely did not mind the burden or the challenges ahead. All he wanted was for peace and sunshine to return to the city.

"Grandpa, goodbye," said Blakely while he put his magic sword in his bag. Those were his last words to his grandpa. He walked down the lane that led into the wilderness, where the leprechauns and medieval witches lived.

Soon enough, his intuitive senses told him that something was wrong. Suddenly, there were funny sounds coming from behind him. He turned around and saw something green and yellow moving in the bushes. Blakely was terrified and picked up a rock and walked to the bushes.

A cute little creature popped out from the bushes and smiled at Blakely. He was so relieved that it wasn't any leprechaun that could transform him into a rat with the snap of his finger. All of a sudden, three leprechauns pounced on him and captured him with their "Gravity Force Net".

Blakely was then taken to their hideout deep in the forest. He was tied up with the roots of strange plants and was forced to explain why he had ventured into their territory. When they threatened to imprison him forever, Blakely told them about his quest to Noblicle to retrieve the fairy king's emerald crown.

To his surprise, they all smiled at each other and then one of them said "You, a simple human being, have a good heart. We are happy with you and want you to meet our queen."

With that, they led Blakely to a secret chamber in the cave, a place that showcased the treasures and wealth of the leprechauns.

Blakely gasped when he saw a familiar face. It was a lady from his village who was being pampered by leprechauns and she was dressed in robes of a medieval witch.

"Sheila! What on earth are you doing here?" cried Blakely in surprise.

"My name is not Sheila when I am in this land that I own. You shall call me Alianor. Guards! Make him sit on the chair of heads! You still remember Grimlock, right?"

The guards forced him to sit on the chair and he was tied up again. These were no ordinary guards but Minotaurs.

bull Pictures, Images and Photos

Obviously, Blakely was not going to enjoy this conversation.

Sheila waved something in the air and soon they were transported into an empty room.

"Alright, Blakely, you want to see the Nobgoblins pay for their evil deeds, don't you? Well, the Gordon you have right now is going to help you to get what you want," said Sheila.

"This is a Gordon? What are Gordons used for?" asked Blakely.

"You will need this book. Although it is quite hungry, it is still useful," replied Sheila while taking out a book from a puff of smoke that appeared before her after she summoned it. Then she gave Blakely the book with a faint smile on her face.

To Blakely's horror, the book was slimy and breathing. "Is this drool from somewhere or someone?"asked Blakely.

Sheila said, "It's the book's drool. Remember - the Nobgoblins are very merciless creatures. Before you go to Noblicle, please go to the red swamp of Tyrantland. Find Snubby the imp and he will reward you with something after you accomplish the mission that he gives you," said Sheila."Farewell my brave friend and I bid you good luck."

Sheila then summoned a ring of fire that teleported Blakely out of the magic room.

ring of fire Pictures, Images and Photos

Blakely then found himself in the wilderness again. "I'm going to find Snubby no matter what, even if it means death." Feeling tired, he took out his tent which was kept in his bag and set up camp on an empty plot of land to rest for the night.

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CHAPTER TWO - A DAY WITH THE GORDON

Blakely gathered some firewood to set up a fire to keep warm for the night. Before dusk, he started reading the book that Sheila had given him. He placed the book on his lap and all of a sudden, the book began to spit at him.

Book Pictures, Images and Photos

"I wish Sheila had not given me this idiotic book!" screamed Blakely. He picked up a few leaves and dropped them into the open book and closed it angrily. After a while, he opened the book again and to his surprise, the leaves had disappeared. Instead, there were some digestive juices that stained the pages. Blakely then flicked to the first page of the book.

"Hello. I am the Book of Knowledge and I shall serve you because you have saved me from starvation," said the book. "Flip to page 36 to discover more about Gordons.

The Gordon stood on its hind legs looking at Blakely happily. It had green fur on it back and fluffy yellow fur on its chest.The Gordon also had two legs and a pair of long arms.

Blakely was amazed to find out that Gordons love to steal and to play. However, they did not like to fight. There were various names Blakely could give his Gordons such as Publies, Scorchio, Bluror and Muggary. He named his Gordon Scorchio. At once, it started to act like a warrior and he found its actions very cute.

Moon lit night Pictures, Images and Photos

Night was drawing close so Blakely had his dinner - plain herbs and wild fruits. His meal did not smell so fresh so he left it aside. He was going to starve that night. Suddenly, he heard a zapping sound. Scorchio shot some laser beams from its eyes onto his food and then growled at Blakely. Turning around, Blakely caught the smell of escargots that came from the herbs on his plate. Scorchio smiled at Blakely while he ate the escargots and herbs hungrily. Then, Blakely knew that Scorchio had magical powers. Feeling satisfied after a good meal, Blakely put out the fire and slept in his tent.

The next morning, he took a walk and stumbled upon a house in the woods.

Cottage in the woods Pictures, Images and Photos

Scorchio growled at Blakely and started to push Blakely into the bushes. Scorchio ran towards the door and hit it hard with its head, causing the door to break open. Scorchio dashed inside and Blakely followed behind.

Scorchio ran towards a chest of drawers and opened one drawer after another, looking for money. It squealed in delight when it found a few gold coins. Blakely quickly grabbed Scorchio and forced him out of the house and then they jumped into the bushes to hide. To his surprise, Scorchio still had a bit of coins in its mouth and it spat them onto its hand and kept them in Blakely's coat pocket.

There was no where left to go and nothing left to do so Blakely decided to return to the tent. Blakely took out his bag, dismantled the tent and kept it in his bag. He decided that the time had come for him to go to Tyrantland straight away.

written by Nick

....to be continued....

13 comments to BLAKELY'S JOURNEY TO NOBLICLE Chapter 3

  1. says:

    Tiger Good effort from your boy!
    And very nice pics to accompany the story line too!
    Keep it up!

  1. says:

    Unknown Thanks for the encouraging comment, Tiger. Really appreciate it.

    Have a great day!

  1. says:

    Anonymous Nick has made a big effort in writing this story. So I am going to keep this post for the long weekend so that I can savour all three chapters from the beginning, in contented glee. OK? Ditto with the ghost story coz I really do not want to be scaring myself tonight. Hee hee hee

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Andrea

    Your comment means a lot to him and he has been hovering around all day asking me if Auntie Andrea has read his tale yet. Thanks so much for the encouragement.

    Sadly, his facebook and gmail accounts were hacked by someone who robbed him of his PET SOCIETY stuff which his older brother bequeathed to him recently when big bro moved on to MAFIA WARS. So the poor boy has been quite miffed and has been unable to leave a comment in your blog.

    He is now hiding somewhere and I know he is writing Chapter 4 cos his journal is missing....

    Er look behind your shoulder dear LOL!!

    Take care and thanks for reading!

    hugs

  1. says:

    Murali Hi Nick,

    I like what you've done with Chapter 3 young man!

    The names of your characters and cities are 'wickedly' catchy! :)

    Tyrannia..Mmm..Has an evil yet mystical feel to it..and Snubbly..i can envision a little devilish creature..

    Will Blakely get the tooth and strand of hair & what will happen to Scorchio? (drumroll & biting nails in anticipation..)

    Can't wait for Chapter 4,5,6,7,....

    :)

    Well done yet again young man..

    Take care and keep at it ok.

    Paula: Brilliant boy you have!

    Warmest regards,
    Mu

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi Dr. Murali

    Once again, thanks so much for your encouraging comments for my young man :-).

    Ah - this young man outwits me everyday or should I say a few times a day and I have to be on my toes lest I get fooled by him!!

    He is busy working on Chapter 4 now and will only show me once he has finished everything.

    Take care and thanks for your words of kindness. Means a lot to him and to me.

    cheers,
    paula

  1. says:

    Kak Teh wow Nick, you are good and keep on writing! I will definitely come back and finish the story. You've put me to shame - I have never written any fiction. Keep up the good work.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Kak Teh,

    Thanks so much for visiting and for reading Nick's story. Your kind and encouraging comments are most validating because you are such a stylish, seasoned and professional writer. My young man is over the top :-) and will continue to work at it.

    Take care and my best wishes to you and yours as you make preparations for Hari Raya.

  1. says:

    Anonymous MWS: Wow! am breathless! all those running. There are 2 things I need to get my head around (sorry, am very right-brained and visual creature) :

    (1) The Gordon.. is it one Gordon or more -- Gordons? I simply can't visualise this one.

    Also, I think u need to develop this character next. Put some kind of a "human" side to it. Something that bonds the Gordon to Blakely... perhaps something in the Gordon that tugs Blakely's past experience etc. This is so that when you decide to throw in the conflict scene later, you can play on both the physical as well as the emotional aspects of the conflict.

    (2) At the beginning of each chapter, can you draw like a map.. something like a route map but the map would continue from the last chapter but ends at wherever the chapter ends. So that by the last chapter, you have a full map. The reason why I'm suggesting this is coz there are so many details and info in your story, easy to get lost after awhile.

    Anyway, these are just suggestions. Hope you don't mind.

    But I must say, very good effort for someone who is barely 11y.o

    You'll go very far, young man.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Andrea

    Thanks so much for your fantastic and most constructive review of Nick's story. Both Nick and I appreciate it deeply.

    He cannot respond on his own as his gmail account was suspended as his friend hacked his gmail and FB to get his Pet Society ornaments so he will respond using my ID.

    Take care and thanks so much for the sincere encouragement.

    Have a great day!

    hugs
    Paula

    ---------------------------------
    Dear Auntie Andrea,

    Thank you very much for reading my story. I am so happy that a good writer like you took the time to help me improve my writing. I will try my best to work on those suggestions that you kindly gave me. I do not know how to use the pc to draw maps but I think I can learn how to using paint or some other program. Take care and thanks again.

    Yours sincerely,
    Nicholas

    *P.S. I hope to go very far too :-).

  1. says:

    Anonymous Dear Nick,
    Sorry to hear that someone had hacked into your account. Perhaps you should consider using different gmail accounts for diff things eg 1 gmail acct for FB/PS and another for emails and yet another for your blog. That way when one is hacked, the others wd not b affected.

    Route map - just get yourself an ordinary A4 paper and sketch. Then your Mum can scan it and put it in. Once you've done that, you can stick it to a wall so that when you continue writing your story, you can see where you have been and keep track of certain details for occasional flashback or 3rd person narrative (maybe by the Gordon).

    And another thing, do you know how to mindmap? If you do, take a mahjong paper and do a mindmap of your story. Stick it on the wall next to your route map. It will help keep track of characters (dialogue, special abilities etc), help you give the story some colour, flow and structure. I believe Rowling does the same with her Harry Porter series.

    But most of all, you must enjoy what you are doing. Good Luck.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Auntie Andrea,

    Thanks for your caring advice. I really appreciate it. Actually, I stupidly used the same pw for FB and gmail and gave that password to my friend who robbed me in broad daylight. But it is ok because I learnt many precious lessons from my big boo boo.

    I will draw the map on art block. Thanks so much. I did not plan anything but I imagined everything in my mind from start to finish in ten chapters. Exams are round the corner and I have tons of work (thanks to mom) to clear but I will still work on the story this week cos I have school break.

    In between, it is Townsend's "The Cappucino Years" to tease my brain. Mom has been looking for her "Adrian Mole - Weapons of Mass Destruction" and "Wilderness Years".

    Auntie Andrea, you are a very good artist. I also draw. One day, I will ask mom to scan my pics.

    This is my dream - that a publisher will publish my story and Auntie Andrea will be the illustrator :-).

    Thank you so much. I hope to shake hands with you one day and say a big "Thank you" to you.

    Yours sincerely,
    Nicholas

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Auntie Andrea

    I forgot to tell you that I know mind mapping but I do it in my mind. Mom always advises me to put it in black and white in bubbles or whatever form I like. I think I should really plan properly and develop my story (mom is very happy now). Thanks so much, Auntie Andrea.

    Yes, I really enjoy what I do. I love to read and I also love to write, to draw and to be creative.

    Thanks again.

    Yours sincerely,
    Nicholas

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