masterwordsmith-unplugged

A six year old little girl and her four-year old brother were sitting together in church. The little brother, a typical four year old boy, couldn’t stop giggling, singing and chattering. Finally, his big sister had had enough, and hissed into his ear, “You’re not suppose to talk out loud in church!”
“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” the little boy asked.
The big sister pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”



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At Sunday School, the teacher was teaching the children how God created everything, including human beings. One little boy paid special attention when he was told how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, "Honey, what is the matter?"
The little boy answered, "I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife."



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It was raining outside. Not just raining, but pouring. Buckets of water were falling from the sky, and the little boy turned to his mother. “Mommy?” he said.
“Yes, darling?” his mother replied.
“It’s raining very hard, isn’t it?” the little boy asked.
“Yes, it is,” the mother answered.
“Does that mean that Jesus is taking a shower?”



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A Grandmother was talking to her young grandson, trying to explain the dangers of smoking. “Now Johnny,” she said, “you have to promise Grandma that, once you’re a grown man, you will never smoke, and never drink.”

“Never, Grandma?” asked little Johnny.

“Never, boy, not even once,” replied the grandmother.

With his eyes wide as saucers, Johnny asked “But won’t I get thirsty?”



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How can a little Chihuahua kill a Great Dane, anyway?

A guy ties his pet Great Dane dog to a lamp post, and goes into a little bar for a drink.

A man comes in and says, “Who owns the big dog tied to the lamp post outside?”

The first man says, “He’s mine.”

The second man says, “Well he’s dead.”

“He’s dead,… what happened?”

He says, “My dog killed him!”

"What kind a dog do you got?!”

He says, “A Chihuahua.”

“How can a Chihuahua kill a Great Dane?

“I don’t know, he probably got lodged in his throat!”



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Life begins at fifty, but so does bad eyesight, arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same listeners.

Life begins at fifty, but so does bad eyesight, arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same listeners.

Life begins at fifty, but so does bad eyesight, arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same listeners.

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"Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after bagging items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a TV remote in her purse.

“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most nasty thing that I could do to him that was still legal.”

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Airplane makes urgent call to the control tower

Proving once again that the oldest answers can still be the best

A control tower received the urgent radio message: “One engine is dead. Gasoline is leaking. One of my wing flaps is broken. My oil pressure is near zero. What should I do?”

The response: “Repeat after me, ‘Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name ...’”



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Have a nice day, dear reader! Drive safely!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri to all my Muslim readers, friends and relatives.