I have been looking at him more often lately and realize how he is growing up to be my little man. In fact, I have been snapping lots of photographs of him doing various activities including sleeping. I know that if I don't talk to him now and bond with him, I will lose this fantastic growing up stage in his life.
Looking back, I recall many melting moments that I had with him. From day one, he has been a precocious boy and has hardly ever given me any problems. I miss his tiny size when he was born but I don't miss changing soiled diapers. I miss his warm smile, chuckles of glee whenever I tickled him and his innocent, open, spontaneous and unguarded emotions which reflect how unconditional joy can be in life. When he was a baby, he was always gurgling and smiling even when the paediatrician gave him the monthly jabs. As a toddler, he humored himself with books and books and only bugged me to buy him books each time we went out. Honestly, his even temper has brought me much happiness and fulfilment in my life.
Lately, I have been looking at babies and I really miss being able to carry my son in my arms - if I were to carry him now, I am certain it would trigger a relapse of my spinal injury.
You know, I cannot think of any other thing I would want to do than to be at home to look after my family. Waiting for him to come home from school gives me so much anticipation for even from the gate, he will start relating anecdotes of the day.
Oh how time flies!
When I took him to Gurney Plaza yesterday to watch "G-Force", he did not want me to hold his hand.
"I'm a big boy now, mom," was his line.
Reality hurts sometimes.I love my boys so much that sometimes my heart hurts. I can’t look at old photos without tearing up. See how young they look!
When I am free, I try to recall moments of their childhood, treasure those precious moments and I grieve every moment that I cannot remember in precise detail.
I wish that I could travel back in time to relive those wonderful moments of his growing up years again whilst acknowledging that there were moments that I wish I could forget. Parenting is not about perfection, but about giving our best and our selves to our children.
So, here is my humble parenting tip for the day: We all need to pay attention to our kids. If we want to slow down the growing up years, I guess we have to live in the moment, every moment of our child's life.
We have to be there beside and with our children now.
During this school break, take a few moments today to simply look at your children.
Pay careful attention to details such as the color of their eyes, shape of their face, the curve of their eyebrows, their expressions and their smiles...their whole being!
Spend quality time making conversation with them, hug them until they wriggle free.
And when the time comes for them to move on, leave home for college or marriage, it won't be so painful then...because we have to let go...without holding on to them...and we need to give them the space and the freedom to move on and I guess the time will also come for me to move on when he grows up...
And when I am done, please pass me the tissues.
Ranjan Dear Ma'am,
Time flies and how! As I read on I could not help think about my own childhood... all the moments spent with my mom.. Yeah I do remember telling mom that I am grown up and I am not going to wear the sweater she knit for me because it was pink in colour!
I remember she kept the sweater with her through the years. It must still be there somewhere.
Letting go is never easy! It hurts even when we have conditioned ourselves to do so for a long time.
Cherish your moments with the little one... and weave some great memories...
Take care,
Rex