Recent developments in the world economy have seen a different meaning attached to words which we used to understand. In coming to terms with reality, some of us may be too depressed to see the magnitude of paper losses and more to come. So, enjoy this list of witty stock market definitions that my darling friend Angela sent me today. Thanks Angela!
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CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
Have a great day and keep on smiling!!
The next socio-political post on GET READY TO PUKE should be up by 2pm hopefully. I am still beating the batter and it will be in the oven soon. My apologies for the delay.
6 comments to BE BORED NO MORE!
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Unknown Dear Cat-in-Sydney
Wow! You are in your element, Angelina! That is a fab one indeed!!!
I always thought that you are one dainty princess with carefully manicured and pedicured claws LOL!!!
And I am greatly delighted with this new persona. :-)
Have a great day and meooooooow all the way!
Salam
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nick Hi Sis,
So funny but you know what, all of it can be applied to Malaysian Gomen, Malaysian GLC and Malaysian ruling political party :-(.
And should I add the last part as
Profit and Loss: BN politician makes all the profit and all of us get stuck with the loss.
Boredom gone but today is still cloudy. Lets see what tomorrow will be like.
God bless us, Sis.
Hamba.
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Unknown Dear Nick,
Aha - As usual, you are so sharp to read in between the lines and to fill in the gaps yourself!
Brilliant!! *claps* And you will surely love my next post er but hopefully it will not make you puke ler!!!
Love your additional item to the list.
Take care and continue to spread cheer and hope around like you always do.
Have a wonderful day!
Salam
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A Arthur Hello, new pix on your blog. You look fresh and mid thirties.
These terms came back within these two years when international finances were totally shaken up. Appropriate titles too when you talk about Bernie Madoff, Lehman Brothers etc etc
Salam
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Unknown Dear Arthur,
Hey - thanks for the compliment but I am in my 40's lah...Old lady here!!
Wow - you are very well read!
I am impressed. Thanks for sharing your comment.
Have a nice day!
Cheers
Cat-from-Sydney Aunty Paula,
UNIT TRUST AGENT - can you really trust him? har har har har har har...yeah, me real cheeky today. meow!