Have you seen funny signs that bring a smile or two to your face? Well, my dear friend, Freddie, sent me these a few days ago. Some are a real riot and will surely bring a smile or two to your face. He left for a three-week vacation in Europe together with a few other friends. I was invited to join them but the thought of being away from blogosphere is enough to give me a cardiac arrest so here I am, still staring at my laptop whilst the gang is in Amsterdam now for a few days before flying off to Germany and then Austria. My next post will be a socio-political one so stay tuned.Enjoy this selection... Have a nice day, dear reader!
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NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
Hotel bedroom--Japan:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED.
Doctor's surgery--Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Cocktail lounge--Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Hotel--Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
Hotel air conditioner instructions--Japan:
COOLS AND HEATS: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
Zoo--Hungary:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Restaurant--Nairobi:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
Car rental brochure--Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.
River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
Men's lavatory--Japan:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
Restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
Automatic hand dryer in public lavatory:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
Maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
Cemetery
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES
Restaurant menu--Switzerland:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
Bar--Tokyo:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Temple-- Bangkok:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
Hotel bedroom--Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
Hotel brochure--Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
Hotel bedroom-- Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel-- Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel lobby-- Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
Supermarket-- Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
Hotel-- Moscow (opposite Russian Orthodox monastery):
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
From the Soviet Weekly:
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
Newspaper, East Africa:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.
Black Forest-- Germany:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel-- Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED
Laundry-- Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Advertisement for donkey rides-- Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Hotel bedroom-- Moscow:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
Tourist agency--Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
Dentist's advertisement-- Hong Kong:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
Airline-- Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
Have a nice day, dear reader! Next socio-political post will up later.
11 comments to FUNNY STUFF FROM ALL OVER
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Anonymous signboard outside a wet toilet :
' please slip carefully ' !
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Unknown Dear Nick
Wah lah - you are in your element here hahaa!!!
Thanks for adding more humor to my post. Quite a naughty young fella you are haha!
Oh yes - Selamat Hari Raya Haji to you too and yours plus all my Muslim readers too!
Salam
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 2.46pm
Eeeeeew!! I certainly would not want to experience such a slip! LOL!!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 3.09p.m.
Wow - that is a new one that I never heard before.
Take care and thanks for sharing.
Salam
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Anonymous cont.
Hotel bedroom-- Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
What the address of the hotel?
Hotel-- Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Giving the hotel in japan a run for its money
Hotel lobby-- Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
It's just that I forgot my deodorant
Supermarket-- Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
For complaints, up your own a@@
Hotel-- Moscow (opposite Russian Orthodox monastery):
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
Are they recycled?
From the Soviet Weekly:
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
The gore is the exhibit
Newspaper, East Africa:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.
It'll be just a bit too tight
Black Forest-- Germany:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Wow. The true universal purpose of marriage
Hotel-- Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED
Must be packed lobby with spectators and voyers
Laundry-- Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Ou la la!
Advertisement for donkey rides-- Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
You bet I would
Hotel bedroom-- Moscow:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
Thanks. Can I have a bag for it too?
Tourist agency--Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
Anti-abortionist
Dentist's advertisement-- Hong Kong:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
Not for non-believers
Airline-- Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
Nothing but service to everywhere
TheCrow
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Anonymous Just dropping by. Hope you don't mind.
TheCrow
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
Alas, you will be shot too
Hotel bedroom--Japan:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED.
What a boring place to stay
Doctor's surgery--Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
I had always suspected my wife to be the cause of my illness - I need the Doctor's help
Cocktail lounge--Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Is it the fun having-part or the painful having-part?
Hotel--Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
He's really milking it
Hotel air conditioner instructions--Japan:
COOLS AND HEATS: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
If I'm hungry, I'll cook myself too.
Zoo--Hungary:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Perks of a Zoo guard
Restaurant--Nairobi:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
Place to go when you think you are too happy
Car rental brochure--Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.
He better get the TOOTle-off the road
River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
Glug-Glug-Glug, Ghould Ghave seen ig gooner
Men's lavatory--Japan:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
...
Restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
Luv the place. I always visit 3 days a weekend.
Automatic hand dryer in public lavatory:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
Use leg
Maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
Don't push. Hold it in!
Cemetery
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES
Makes a good horror movie
Restaurant menu--Switzerland:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
Suicide bar
Bar--Tokyo:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Ah.. a transgender bar
Temple-- Bangkok:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
It's a temple, for heaven's sake. Go get a room.
Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
Solicitors will be out of business (refer next funny signs)
Hotel bedroom--Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
Lawyers be damn!
Hotel brochure--Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
Dud, you are entruding my tiny space of solitude.
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Unknown Ha Ha really funny. Where did you collect all these from, Ms Smith. Your blog's interest is so wide and you good in handling all these.
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 4.34 and 4.24pm
WOW!!! Thanks so much for adding all these to my blog post. I really appreciate your kind gesture and humor! We are blessed in blogosphere because of you.
Do take care...thanks for spreading laughter and cheer around. Keep smiling and please keep in touch.
How do I address you?
Have a lovely evening!
Salam
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Unknown Dear Marilyna
:-) Thanks! You are such a sweetheart to say that, dear girl. Often times, I wonder if blog readers think I am a bit too eccentric cos I blog on such a wide range of issues...:-)
My friends send me such stuff and I also trawl the net. Do share with me if you have anything interesting or if you want me to post your writings here, ok?
Take care and have a lovely day in NYC.
Cheers
nick ROTFL!!!! Looks like no more trip to Japan for me (cos my missus knows that I will accept that invitation) he..he.. And no visit to Yugoslavia too (is it still a country?) NO? Then there's literally no way to visit Yugoslavia (though I'm quite curious why flattening an underwear would be so much pleasurable). LOL!
Thank Sis for a fun afternoon. GOD bless.
Hamba.
p.s- and especially for golfers - A sign at a golf course which reads "any persons (except players) caught collecting golf balls will be prosecuted and have their balls removed!"...Ouchh!
Oh. BTW Selamat Hari Raya and may you encounter delicious treats and delicacies when visiting open houses.