masterwordsmith-unplugged

Please enjoy this selection of political jokes which I collected over time. Some of them may seem eerily familiar to Malaysians :-). Do leave a comment if you wish. I would love to hear from you. Take care and have a nice day.
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How the Government Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
The MPs said,"Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then one MP said,"How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then another MP said,"How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then other MPs said,"How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Prime Minister said,"Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then the Finance Minister said,"We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they laid off the night watchman.

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Three Boys

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says:"Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".

The second one says:"Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says:"You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!!"

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Political Brains

A Guy walks into a store. He sees three brains on display. One is a Libertarian Brain, priced at $250. The second is a Democrat Brain, priced at $275. The third is a Republican Brain, priced at $5,000,000.

The Guy asks the sales clerk,"Man, why does the Republican brain cost so much more than the other two?"

Clerk replies,"Well, sir, that brain has never been used.

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A Story of Creation

In the beginning, God created heaven and earth.
Shortly thereafter God was in receipt of a notice to show cause why he shouldn't be cited for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary planning permit for the project, but was stymied by a Cease and Desist Order for the earthly part.

At the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.

Then God said, "Let there be light."

Officials immediately demanded to know how the light would be made. Would it require strip mining? What about thermal pollution?

God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire, and provisional approval was granted with the proviso that no smoke would result.

The authorities demanded the issuance of a building permit, and (to conserve energy) required that the light be left off half the time. God agreed, saying he would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night." Officials replied that they were only interested in protecting the environment, not in semantics.

God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed."

The EPA agreed, so long as only native seed was used.

Then God said, "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth."

Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubongelic Society.

Everything went along smoothly until God declared that he intended to complete the project in six days.

Officials informed God it would take at least 200 days to review his many waiver applications and environmental impact statements. After that there would have to be a public hearing, and then there would be a 10-12 month probationary period before....

At this point, God created Hell.