masterwordsmith-unplugged

It seems like not too long ago when I walked down the aisle in my white gown, long trailing veil, to exchange vows and thereafter changed my marital status.

Reality check. Twenty-five years. That is how long I have been married. Wow! We survived. Actually, it has been longer than that if I were to include the 6 years 4 months 2 weeks of courtship. Yea! That long.

My husband and I took dancing lessons years ago and it was not easy for us to move in sync with each other. Until today, I remember the significance of the difficulties we encountered in our Latin American and Ballroom Dancing classes. To me, a good relationship or marriage has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules.

The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate, complicated sometimes, but gaily and freely be it a waltz, tango, quickstep and so on…maybe I should say salsa, hip-hop etc.

To touch heavily would be to arrest or retard the pattern and freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of how the dance unfolds.

Think about it where relationships are concerned. Am I hitting any relevant notes?

There is no place for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand…only the lightest touch in passing. Nonetheless, without being sexist, for girls, it is quite difficult for some not to be possessive. I suppose that is due to insecurity or their inborn mothering instinct …

Nagging, condemning, complaining and other negative comments when the dancing partner misses a step or a turn would exacerbate matters. When a partner falters, falls, fails to live up to expectations, what should be our correct response?

To condemn or to encourage? To attack or to support? To defend or to comply? Such difficult questions with even more difficult responses. To me, tolerance, forbearance and most of all, patience would save the day.

Having said that, when arm in arm , face to face or even back to back depending on what type of dance, it does not matter IF and WHEN a couple becomes partners moving to the same groove or rhythm, creating a pattern, a lifestyle, a beautiful dance, a fulfilling life, and being invisibly nourished by it.

Do you jive, quickstep, salsa or are you in a strife?

Here's wishing you a wonderful lifetime of loving and sharing with your spouse/partner and if you have not found one yet, may you find one in time, and if your choice is singlehood - may you always be happy and fulfilled.

God bless you and yours and have a lovely weekend!!!

Text copyright © masterwordsmith 2009. All rights reserved.

There are mirrors and then there are mirrors.

Small ones that you carry in your handbag, large ones placed at your console table, decorative ones in restaurants, practical ones in the bathroom and functional ones in your bedroom that come in all shapes and sizes.

Each has a different effect.

When the light is soft and direct, the image will tell us wonderful things about our faces, even though they may not be true.

Those placed in boutiques seem to make you look slimmer, sexier, fairer and better so you end up buying that dress or shirt that you did not even need.

At carnivals and theme parks, we have a gala time laughing at the distorted images in fun house mirrors where our images are skinny, convoluted, fat or distorted.

Then there are one-way mirrors which can be deceiving or revealing depending upon which side of the mirror you are standing.

Similarly, our friends are like mirrors because friends let us look at ourselves. There is one big difference though - friends are better than mirrors because regardless of the light, angle, time or place, the reflection of ourselves that we see in the face of a friend is always true.

As I age day by day while trying to keep young as well, I regard my friends as my mirrors - mirrors who let me see myself as I really am.

For those who are close to me, I sometimes see expressions there that I don’t want to see but I have to see because I know the time has come to make changes in my life. And I do make those changes. It makes a difference when people communicate it differently and it must come from a heart filled with love, understanding and tolerance.

Now, regardless of how I feel, I know I can never hide my true emotions from my friends and loved ones. Their faces even through the web cam or in reality, tell me that my ‘act’ is not very convincing or there is this certain dead giveaway lilt in my voice which reveals my true state of emotions. So that is good because I just drop the screen and talk things out

frankly and start to feel better right away - really better. In fact, now there is no facade any more

- what you see in me is what is me and what you will get just like what you are reading now is what I feel and what I am typing straight from my heart.

Thus, when I am at my best, feeling full of joy, the reflection of me that I see in the faces of my loved ones makes me even happier.

I hope that you all will continue to be the perfect mirror of your friends - a caring mirror, honest mirror, a mirror that loves, shares, feels, understands and is never cruel or judgemental.

When your friends look into your eyes whenever you communicate, they will see themselves and all the possibilities of improvement and goodness within themselves. And you know what, no other mirror in this world could ever allow them to experience themselves so deeply and fully as you do.....

Copyright © masterwordsmith 2009. All rights reserved.