HOW TO STAY YOUNG PART 2

Posted by Unknown On Wednesday, January 6, 2010 14 comments
A few days ago, I put up a post on HOW TO STAY YOUNG which generated lively responses from some readers. The following is the response from one of the readers which both witty and humorous. I thought I'd post it separately (with his permission) so that you may enjoy the witty humor. Smile a lot and stay young and beautiful! Have a nice day!

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How To Stay Young

1)Go vegetarian- burgers are a good source as beef come from cows which eats grass, so it goes without saying that beef is refined vegetable.Fried foods are also a good source of vegetables as oil is made from vegetables.

2)Have regular sex-preferably with someone from the opposite sex and not paid for.You need the money for your retirement.

3)Fart regularly as it expels toxins in the body.While you are at it,save the world and fart in a jar.Recycle.

4)Look yourself in a mirror preferably as far away as possible.You'd be amazed how good you look at that distance especially if you're myopic.

5)Do NOT exercise as it wastes your heartbeats.God gave us a set number of heartbeats, I repeat,do not waste it.

6)Fatty foods are good as the ones with fibre will stick in your teeth and cause tooth decay.

7)Have a hobby - watching grass grow is a good hobby as it is non impact.Slouching on the sofa and watching lizards run around is another good pastime.

8)If you are balding,wear a hat and don't go near a bowling alley or they will mistake your head for a bowling ball with dire consequences.

9)Tell your spouse you've got a new squeeze.The adrenaline rush when he/she smashes your face with a bat can be therapeutic and a good excuse to have your face reconstructed.

10)Look out for the obituaries and thank the stars that you're such a lucky sod to be still alive after following the above 9 steps.

Have a nice day!

14 comments to HOW TO STAY YOUNG PART 2

  1. says:

    Anonymous wow ! din sleep ah !? (iwc)

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi IWC

    Got lah...This was auto-posted for 6 a.m. LOL! I don't wake up that early!

    Have a nice day!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Anonymous " dun worry be happy " or 'be happy dun worry ?' ...singing keeps u young
    BUT...but the singer/composer died
    young la !

  1. says:

    Anonymous Names ...names ....Names :

    osama bin laden = mr. Bin Laden !!
    Shakespear = Spearshake !

    a shop named 'kedai Cheap Lie' !
    my fren named 'Tiger Ong' !
    another one 'Suzy Loh' (loss all)!
    worst one is ...Chow Chee Pai !!

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 10.31am

    Ya - that song was written by Bob Marley right?

    Take care and have a good day!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 10.55a.m.

    Thanks for the list! I believe I have another list of Chinese names stashed somewhere. Must find it and post it for laughs.

    Take care and have a nice day!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Village Boy An active life is always fresh and vibrant. with enthusiastic efforts, we can create something positive. With bright, inspiring words, we can touch the hearts of many.

    In this respect, I believe you have done a marvellous job.

    Keep it up!

    Have a nice day

  1. says:

    Tommy Yewfigure Hellow MWS,

    Hmmmm interesting, especially #2, have 'free'sex with someone as in anyone???? I'm game if u r game, show me a sign sis.....hehehe..sorry madam no offend, just trying to stay young & cheeky mah!

    Cheers,
    Tommy

  1. says:

    Anonymous yes, i juga prefer 'free-sex' but...but biniku sudah menopaused .... lansung tak dapat sexited watever i have tried , potong potong ...oops tolong tolong tolong !!

  1. says:

    Anonymous i used to nap nap nap tidur tidur tidur day&nite , BUT now read&baca
    blogs & comments esp yours ,tks MWS.
    (copycat)

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Village Boy

    Thanks for the encouraging comment! Indeed it is important to remain cheery and positive ...and to impart that positivism to those who come into contact with us.

    Thanks for doing just that so consistently with your comments and input. Really appreciate it!

    Take care and have a lovely evening.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Tommy Yewfigure

    Haha...No offense taken. Laughter and jokes are important for us to keep sane in this cruel world...

    And when you are young, you can get away with all sorts of cheeky remarks...Alas, such privileges diminish as the number of candles on the cake increases....

    Take care and thanks for swinging by!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 5.54 p.m.

    Haha! You have a great sense of humor haha...

    Salam

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 6.00 pm aka Copycat

    Thanks so much for your kind and encouraging comment. It means a lot to me to know that you read my blog and take the trouble to leave a comment.

    Take care and have a lovely evening.

    Salam

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