Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
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Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.
"Certainly madam", he replied courteously.
"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.
"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"
Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.
"Certainly madam," he replied.
"And can I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please," Mary mused. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.
The night passed uneventfully and next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk.
"Morning madam...sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.
"Food to your liking?"
"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs tho....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.
"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book.
We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.
"OK, I will...thanks!" replied Mary....who checked out, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.
Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written.
"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!"
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A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully. The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs' togetherness, which included one part sodium. It seems the little green frogs needed some monosodium glue to mate.
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The French will eat almost anything. A young cook decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city. He searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits. None could be found. Finally, an old priest at the cathedral said he could have a small area behind the rectory for his rabbits. He successfully raised a number of them, and when he went about Paris selling them, a restaurant owner asked him where he got such fresh rabbits. The young man replied, "I raise them myself, near the cathedral. In fact, I have ... a hutch back of Notre Dame.
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Two caged canaries
Once upon a time there were two canaries in a cage. Naturally, one was male and the other female. After many months, the male decided to meet the female. So he scooted over to her side of the cage and said,
"Since we're in this together, why don't I move over to your side of the cage!"
The female canary replied, "No, thanks!!"
So he went back to his side but found he could stay there no longer. Once again, he moved to her side of the cage. This time he asked,
"I am sorry I was to forward the first time. Why don't we get to know each other first."
To which she replied again, "No, thanks!"
Resigning himself to return to his side of the cage, he languished about for a bit then made one final effort. He went halfway across the cage and stated,
"Well, could we at least talk?"
This time she replied, "Oh, I am so sorry I have been so mean. You see I just learned I have a canarial disease called, "Chirpies" and I hear it is untweetable."
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An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.
"What did you do that for?" Asked a passing giraffe.
"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago."
"Wow, what a memory" commented the giraffe.
"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall".
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Gift for Snow White
Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.
Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said,
"Don't worry. Someday your prints will come".
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Next socio-political post will be up later.Have a nice day.
18 comments to WITTY AND FUNNY PUNS
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Unknown Dear Justice
I feel the same way too and had the same thought when posting that story. Take care. You really live up to your name in your stand and belief in justice.
Have a nice day.
Best wishes
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Catherine These 3 frogs have left us a message :
It may appear that our enemies are outside, but in actual fact, the most insidious enemies are within!
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Unknown Dear Catherine
That is so true. All the more we have to be vigilant and on guard. Take care and thanks for swinging by to share your thoughts.
Warmest wishes
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stephen Good ones MWS.However, i must say that the former PM, whom I thank for making my decision to move south easier,has come out with another gem that surpasses all.
With racism already a byword for him,is there no end to the crippling effects of senility on an old man way past his use by date?
I thought 22 years of damage was bad enough.
Now he's trying to create a chasm in international relations which could probably cost this country some lost investments and also probably result in greater restrictions on entry to some countries.He doesn't care,he's not holding the baby.Let the government do damage control and the people to suffer in the meantime.
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Cat-from-Sydney O Wise Master,
Naughty frogs! Naughty, naughty!!! Did the rabbits say something? To eat frogs instead of rabbits?
O-oh...the cat's been rambling again. Too much salmon, I must say. purrr...meow!
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Unknown Dear Stephen
That character is an attention-seeking goon who never ceases to embarrass himself and the nation.
The 22 years of damage he wrought on this nation has seen long-lasting consequences.
If only some people would put their foot down and ask him to zip up. Er...that would be quite impossible because ...
I can never understand why evil people can live long while good people die young.
Sighs....
Take care and have a lovely evening.
Cheers
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Unknown Hi Cat-in-Sydney
Are you back in Malaysia? Thought I saw you coming into my blog fr KL! Or could that be your blog reader???
Let me know if ever you are in Penang ok?
Pandai ah - i called you naughty and now u call the frogs naughty.
Take care and have a lovely evening.
Salam
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Kenneth As it is, nothing is more pitiful than a nation being run by immoral, dirty, filthy, shameful and despicable leaders!
Much damage has been done to our nation.
It is a tragedy caused by leaders who make terrible mistakes in judgment, are preoccupied with their own self-serving interest, and forget completely about the welfare of the rakyat.
God bless
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Eggs What if the receptionist ask Marry Poppin; "How do you want your eggs to be in the morning".....intending to be hard boil, soft boil, poach or fried.
Mary replied; "Unfertilised, thank-you."
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Unknown Dear Kenneth
That is a very accurate take on the state of affairs in the last 25 years or so...
So how do the rest of us wriggle out of this?
It seems like a whirlpool with undercurrents pulling us down down down...
Sighs...
Take care and God bless.
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Unknown Dear Eggs
Haha!! I see you are all tuned up with the pun ...even your nom de plume is in tandem with the post :-).
Thanks for your witty comment. Take care and have a lovely evening.
Cheers
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QQ "What is the meaning of human life, or of organic life altogether? To answer this question at all implies a religion. Is there any sense then you ask, in putting it? I answer, the man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life."
- Albert Einstein
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Unknown What a profound quote you have shared with us this evening, QQ.
Thanks a bunch! Hope you and yours will have a lovely evening.
Cheers
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Anonymous "We have worked very, very hard under MB Dr Zambry Abd Kadir’s administration. Now, things have changed tremendously and I am very happy to see the people’s response to us. They know the things we have done and they can judge for themselves.
“So to me, what the PR is trying to do with this campaign is not new and it does not threaten us in any way."
Quoted : BN Perak
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 8.48 p.m.
From where did you get that quotation? Could you please leave a link?
I would like to invite you to explain and qualify
a)who are the "we" who worked so hard ?
b) HOW HARD?
c)In what area? Did they do laborious work, overtime?
d) How have things changed and the degree for BN to say that it is TREMENDOUSLY? Any base for comparison?
e)Why is the speaker's response "I am very happy to see the people's response to us"
Shouldn't his happiness be in the QUALITY of life of Perakians and NOT his personal happiness as to how people respond to him/her?
f) Indeed I agree they can judge for themselves based on what their eyes can see, ears can ear, hands can touch and hearts can feel
Of course, BN is confident and cannot be threatened in anyway by PR.
That is for sure already.
And the whole world knows why!
Thanks for sharing. Take care and may God bless you and yours.
Salam
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Anonymous " ...stop calling your wife Paula ! "
' why !? '
" Biniku is also Paula ! "
'...so ? '
" I..i have no confidence of myself."
' what !? '
" I...i...may fall for your wife. "
'...so !?'
" pls call her some thing else ..like
laura, mona, anna ...or aminah !"
'NO way !'
" ...@#$%^& ... !"
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Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 11.33 a.m.
???? Er...maaf lah..Me orang tua and I don't understand what you are trying to say...The dialogue is between which characters?
Anyway, thanks for swinging by. Take care and enjoy your weekend.
Salam
Justice Whenever I read anything about frogs, it reminds me of the 3 despicable FROGS in Perak.
Shame, shame shame!