masterwordsmith-unplugged

Here's a selection of funnies collected from here and there that gives us much food for thought. Some are eerily true and I am sure you will be grinning from ear to ear :-). Keep that smile on your face and have a wonderful day! Sorry for this late post cos I woke up late :-(. Cheers!


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In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. - Unknown.

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'This telephone is an amazing invention but who would want to use one of them?' American President, Rutherford Hayes 1876.

'Edison's electric light bulb is good enough for our transatlantic friends, but unworthy of practical of scientific or practical men'. British Parliamentary society set up to investigate electric lighting in 1878.

'X-rays are a hoax'. Lord Kelvin, president of the Royal Society in 1900.
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10 Downing Street is one of the most heavily protected buildings in Britain.

Apart from the "decorative" policeman, the front door cannot be opened at all from the outside because it has no handle, and no one can enter the building without passing through an airport-style scanner and a set of security gates manned by armed guards.

In the first five years after Tony Blair became Prime Minister [1997 -2002], 37 computers, 4 mobile phones, two cameras, a mini-disc player, a video recorder, four printers, two projectors and a bicycle were stolen from inside the house.
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It seems that the more successful a politician becomes, the more funny political jokes that they attract. Thus for many up and coming stars, being the butt of a political joke is a cross between a badge of honour and rite of passage.

'The House of Commons is the longest running farce in the West End.' Cyril Smith [Former UK Member of Parliament]

'I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts'. Will Rogers [Comedian, social commentator, vaudeville actor]


'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country'. Marion Barry [Mayor Washington, DC]

This joke could be heard in the capital of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics [USSR], ] Moscow, in the 1950's.

What is the difference between Capitalism and Socialism?

Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man
Socialism is the exact opposite.
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The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" casually think about whether you do, or don't, want that politician spending your tax money.

* A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but an advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure in perspective for us all in one of its releases:
* A billion seconds ago, it was 1959.
* A billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive.
* A billion hours ago, our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
And....................
* A billion dollars ago, was only 8 hours and 20 minutes at the rate Washington spends our money.
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Four Funny Political Shorts

1) Four years ago, my brother ran for state senator.
What does he do now?
Nothing. He got elected.

2) Why don't we ever hear of a thief stealing from a politician's house?

Professional courtesy.

3) Mum: What makes you think our son will be a politician?

Dad: He says more things that sound good and mean nothing than any other boy on the block.

4) A political pollster knocked on the door and a sour-faced lady answered. 'What party does your husband belong to?' he asked.

The lady responded curtly, 'I sir, am the party he belongs to.'