Try this one...the A - Z to arouse your wife’s attention…or suspicion…
A Act stupid in front of her while she’s watching her favorite TV program
B Behave like you’re the housemaid
C Call her sweetheart every 5 minutes for no reason
D Dress like Valentino when you said you’re going to the doctor’s
E Eat food that you’ve always hated or had never eaten before
F Forget her birthday (and you die…)
G Give free evening maths tuition to the foxy neighbor
H Hand her RM10,000 and whisper, “Happy birthday” when it is not
I I’m tired…some other night, sweetheart?
J Just stare at her when she’s doing her make-up
K Kiss her toes when she’s polishing her finger nails
L Last minute company meeting…”I won’t be home till 4a.m.”
M Make her feel like she’s Miss Universe
N Nibble at her ear while she’s washing clothes
O Offer to help the foxy neighbor fix her “plumbing problem”.
P Pass the wrong remarks about the mother-in-law’s table manners
Q Question her “extravagant” shopping when she just got home with 5 giant shopping bags
R Request for Chubb Safe key
S Sneak out when you thought she’s asleep
T Tell her she’s fat when she’s talking to foxy neighbor at the lift
U Use her toiletries without her permission
V Voice your true opinion about her new hair style/color
W Walk the dog at 3a.m. every night
X Xtra-ordinary expenses on credit card statement
Y Young and sexy voice on the phone saying, “Wrong Number” always
And finally…
Z Zip your mouth when she asks you “When is our wedding anniversary?”
Written by
StraightTalking
14 comments to The A to Z of Marital Humor
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Ummie I don't mind not to have birthday present if other days are 10,000 day :D)
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Anonymous And her attention, translated into words, will be something like this…
A. Aiya! Don’t disturb lah. Go back to your room!
B. Beats me why you’re so hardworking suddenly…are you sick?
C. Come on! I know you want to ask me for something…what is it?
D. Darling, are you seeing the doctor or are you dating the doctor?
E. Egg rolls in cranberry sauce!! Since when did you pick up that eating habit?
F. For the last time…REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY!!
G. Going to teach math again?...(eyes narrowing)…Good, I also want to go!
H. How come you can remember it’s my birthday today huh? Take money first, scold him later
I. I want! I don’t care!
J. Jealous or what? Never seen a woman put makeup on, ah? Silly boy…
K. Keep doing it darling, I feel so horny already…
L. Like hell you’ll be back at 4a.m! I’m locking the door. Go sleep with your mistress!!
M. Miss Universe? Of course I’m better looking. And I’m smarter too!
N. Not now darling, can’t you see I’m busy?
O. Over my dead body!! You come and fix MY plumbing problem first!!
P. Please don’t forget your wife is her daughter! Asshole!
Q. Quantity only…all cheap sale stuff…you should see John’s wife shopping list…
R. Read my lips! NO!
S. Say mister, where do you think you’re going?
T. Thank you for the compliment darling…you’ll get your reward when we get home
U. Urghhhh!!! You used my night cream!! How dare you!
V. Very nice what…you men just don’t know about women hair style
W. What time is it now! Walk the dog one more time and I promise you, I’ll kill him
X. X are the expenses that I’ve marked as suspicious…please explain…
Y. Your mistress is calling you again…you think I don’t know ah! Humpht!
And finally…
Z. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikulti remembering our aniverseri wen I am gon!!!
StraightTalking
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Anonymous For any couple who intended to have marital bliss, understand that we have two ears and one mouth. Listen twice and speak only once.
If you can't hear clearly what was spoken earlier, try mind reading as those traits are normally there even when you spouse don't speak a word.
Men need to learn skill like mind mapping besides mind reading ???
~ahoo~
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Anonymous Dear Masterwordsmith,
Aiyoh ! like this what for marry ?
Act stupid ?
Behave like housemaid ?
Calling out sweetheart is not a problem since we guys are quite capable of charming the birds from the tree !
Eat food you hate ?
Kiss her toes when she's polishing her fingers ?
Think I'll stay more MERRY than marry !
A-Z , I better zoom.........
Cheers !
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Unknown Dear Anon @ 8.17am
Haha! That's a good one. Take care and have a great day!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear Ummie
Lovely to hear from you again!
What a clever comment you have shared as always! I share the same view ;-p!
Take care. Selamat berpuasa.
Salam
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Unknown Dear Anon @ 12.18 pm
LOL!! What a good husband you are!
Cheers!
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Unknown Dear StraightTalking
LOL!! You are such a riot! May I post this as part 2 to this post on another day?
Hope you will say yes.
Take care and thanks for sharing your witty humor!
Precious lah!
Cheers
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Unknown Dear ahoo
Haha! Another sterling comment from you laced with much wisdom and experience!
Thanks so much for sharing this :-).
Have a blessed evening.
Shalom
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Unknown Dear Anon @ 4.27pm
LOL!! I am sure once you find the right one, you will fall prostrate at her feet and your heart is likely to do her bidding LOL!!
Thanks for the smiles and laughter haha!! Take care and do stay in touch!
Cheers!
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Anonymous Yeah, put it up for the boys to have a good laugh.
StraightTalking
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Unknown Thanks, StraightTalking! Take care and enjoy the rest of the evening.
Cheers!
Anonymous Straight to the bathroom after meeting your frens .