Since then, Beng would email on and off, short emails of one or two sentences and sometimes he would send me jokes. Fearful that this old lady (me that is) may be more myopic with all the blogging that I do :-), he would sometimes amuse me by increasing the font size of his mail or using bold or colored fonts.
This month, I did not hear from him much and was wondering what had happened to him. And then his email came - a real shock to me and I am teary-eyed as I write this.
The doctor at GH Penang confirmed he has carcinoma of the tongue.
:-( Sighs.
I responded by asking him if I could visit him and his response really moved me to tears. At the point of writing this, I have yet to reply his email and tears are rolling down my face as I type this.
You know, there are many things I have learnt from my readers and certainly Beng is one of them. He has taught me courage in the face of adversity and how humor can dispel gloom. I am inspired by his strength, his humor, his caring nature and his warm and jovial persona despite the difficult situation that he is in.
Excerpt from his email (in response to my request to visit him) which made me cry and laugh simultaneously:
my dear teacher,Dear Beng, I hope you do not mind that I have put up your letter. I did it to inspire others who may be in the same position that they may be inspired by your strength and grit to overcome obstacles. I pray for your speedy recovery and a miraculous journey to wholeness for you.
I am being warded among other cancer and cancer to be patients and it is crowded. I strongly discouraged you and your friends to visit me in this environment which is not healthy congested with cancer airborne germs! Everybody will be wearing face mask and patients after operation/surgery will be moving slowly with tubes hanging out from their nose. Also many of those after going through TRACHEOSTOMY (sorry for my typo-error earlier) with their visible plugs stuck thru their neck and some old seniors with their worn out holes (dried unstitched like a bullet hole) walking around like aliens looking loss!
Wait...no wonder Malaysia is appointed by the United Nations as the 1st contact country for E.T. from outer space !!!
What a joke!!! I better stay alive long enough for my country to humour me so that I can carry on with my bitter sweet cancerous life!
Anyway being non-compliant to the hospital procedures, the doctors have given me an eviction order verbally henceforth I shall be walking alone like a zombie aimlessly waiting for that touch & go moment. Meantime, I expect to receive more humorous reads to uplift my spirits of hope. (incld beer & wine)
Angela is a fine example of a cancer patient who is in remission. She is my cyber buddy, my sister, my confidante and my mother sometimes and at this moment, she is belly-dancing away at the gym and had yoga class earlier in the day. People like Beng and Angela are truly icons of inspiration.
I just want to request readers to leave messages in the comment box to inspire and to encourage Beng. I will then collect these and forward to him via email.
If you wish to send him get-well messages instead, you can email me at mwsmithunplugged@gmail.com and I will forward them to Beng.
Thanks, dear reader. We are all in the same blogosphere and even though we may not have met face to face, thank you for being a part of my blog, for visiting and for sharing Beng's journey to recovery.
Take care and may you and yours cherish life always!! Here's a special dedication for Beng and all of you out there.
Sometimes, circumstances are beyond words and comprehension...God bless you all!
A Lesson in Life
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.
If someone hurts you, betrays you , or breaks you heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.
You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it.
JustTruth Dear MWS,
I'm not a Christian. I would like to share this thought with you. Its extracted from a book I'm reading "The Tibetan Book of Living + Dying". I'm not trying to propagate Buddhism. Irregardless of whatever religion one believes in, Death comes to each and everyone in its own time.
The reason I want to share this thot is bcos it has helped me to view impending death with less fear and turbidity (of the unknown)and less sadness because of its non-finality.
"Life and Death are seen as One Whole,
Where Death is the Beginning of another chapter of Life"
"Death is a Mirror
in which the entire meaning of Life is Reflected".
If this is not posted, I'd understand. Take care, dont be too sad. The Circle of Life Continues . . . .