A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."
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A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".
The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says:
"HEBREWS"
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MEAN PICK-UP LINES
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Man - Excuse me, want to dance?
Woman - No.
Man - Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!
I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.
Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you checking out my package!
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
Man - Fat Penguin !
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good
Man - Do you like to dance?
Woman - Yes !
Man - Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
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ROMANTIC PICK-UP LINES
Tell me something, girl. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
Your name must be cheerios...cuz you seem healthy for my heart.
Girl are you tired, cuz youve been running through my mind all day
Is your dad in jail? Cuz he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
Hey baby, You must be from Tennesee........cause your the only Ten-I-See
Excuse me miss, are you a Hostess? Because you've got some sweet cakes!!
You Dropped something , "My jaw"
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CLEVER PICK-UP LINES
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.
You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...
Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!
Save a horse -- ride a cowboy.
Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply
Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours
Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears
My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?
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Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
Did you hear about the new French tank?
Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
Where does the one legged waitress work?
The I-hop
What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Damn
Have a nice day!!! Keep smiling! :-)
I am glad that there are many Malaysians who are optimistic, hopeful and actively mooting change in their lives and community. If we were to subject ourselves to pessimism, then there would be no more hope for Malaysia. The truth is - there IS hope.
If not, why is RPK doing what he is doing and why was he willing to pay such a heavy price for a better tomorrow?
If there is no hope, why is DSAI immovable in his quest to establish PR as the ruling party?
If hope has disappeared from the face of this country, why is Dato Nizar and his team still so dedicated in his mission for Perakians despite all that they had gone through?
If Lim Guan Eng had given up hope after being imprisoned, do you think he would be the Chief Minister of Penang today?
If Kelantanese had given up hope in PAS, do you think PAS would be as influential today?
There are so many LIVING examples of shining Malaysians who exemplify hope for a new dawn in Malaysia.
We will be steadfast and immovable in our faith that NO MATTER HOW DARK THE DAY, A NEW DAY WILL COME.
And this is not blind hope or vision....
This is HOPE - confident expectation...that things will get better.
We will overcome!!! And it has to begin with you and me...we must do our part...
Check out my post on MURPHY'S LAW IN MALAYSIA if you have not read it before.
Here's an inspirational tale to round up my post for today...
Have a nice day and do share your thoughts if you have the time. Thanks!
This parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule praying or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together, told them what had happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.
Initially the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, HE WOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP!
This he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up!” He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP!
It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him . . . all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.
THAT’S LIFE! As we face our problems, let us respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity.
Take care everyone. Keep safe and stay happy always!
