1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big d*** or a good memory - I don't remember, what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a se* object. Every time you ask for se*, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having se* is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone se* once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss? A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life? A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, ' Don 't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
18. People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED....
19. But there is. When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE....
20. And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.....
21. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are...COMPLETELY FINISHED
HAVE A NICE DAY!!!
johnnie lim Paula,
this is so hilarious. thanks for the laugh.you have a nice day.
shalom