Funny One-Liners For Mondays

Posted by Unknown On Monday, June 27, 2011 0 comments
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.




Procrastinate Now!

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I'm not a complete idiot - - Some parts are just missing

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

-Author Unknown-

Have a great day!

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