masterwordsmith-unplugged

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

If a nickel knew what it is worth today, it would feel like two cents.

A lot of pessimists get that way from financing optimists.

When you have your head up your butt, 4 of the 5 senses do not work.

I'd rather visit the zoo than most of my relatives.

If only the good die young then what does that say about senior citizens?

Commercial truck owners should be required to pay into a state windshield repair fund.

I knew the Louisiana Purchase was a bad idea.

I work for a living, I don't live for working.

With fuel prices skyrocketing, they should now call them gasp pumps!

Buffet is a French term, It means "get up and get it yourself."

Without geometry, life is pointless.

To a worm, digging in the hard ground is more relaxing than going fishing.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

If people talk behind your back, it only means you are two steps ahead.

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.

Why is the National Guard in Iraq and the Army in New Orleans?

Yes, I'm lost . . . but I'm making GREAT time!

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

Time isn't on my side. It's on my back.