The Fragility of Life

Posted by M ws On Monday, August 22, 2011 24 comments
Never in my life did I expect this to happen. In a twinkling of an eye, my whole life was turned around. I feel that I just cannot cope and yet have to be strong to weather the situation.

It was an ordinary Sunday evening. My friends will be getting married next Wednesday and we went out to discuss the programme for the wedding dinner as I was supposed to be the master of ceremonies for the evening. My husband and son did not come along as son is having his school exams tomorrow.

Shortly after dinner, I called my husband to ask him to check my blog and to call me back to let me know the status. Since he did not call me back, I called him only to discover that he had not checked my blog. Fine. I was quite near my home after all and asked my friend to step on the accelerator due to my blogging withdrawal symptoms.

When I reached home, hubby opened the door and told me he had dozed off. Hmmm something was wrong. I just spoke to him a while ago and wondered how anyone could doze off in ten minutes. Walking to the kitchen, I was shocked to see the food still on the kitchen top. Thinking that it was leftover food, I proceeded to keep those dishes.

I stopped in my tracks when he said he could not remember whether he had eaten his dinner.

Come again?

"I cannot remember whether I have eaten dinner," was the sedate response.

*gulps*

And so the nightmare began.



I asked my son what had happened in between and he said he did not know for his dad had warmed up the food and then went upstairs and did not come down. Feeling hungry, he ate on his own and went straight to the study to do his revision.

In a state of panic, I called my close friend, a doctor, but he did not pick up. Then I called my family doctor who was at the police station making a report wrt a lost document and she said she would call me back. Then I called another doctor friend who advised me to take my husband to the hospital immediately.  Then my family doctor called back and said to let him stay at home and observe.

By then, I was really distraught. After my husband finished his dinner, I asked him what he had eaten and he could not tell me.

:-(

I tried calling my close friend to see if he would pick up. Phone engaged. Then he called me back and I told him what had happened. He had just flown back from KL and was driving home from the airport. Upon hearing the situation, he rushed to my place, checked hubby, took his bp, asked me to pack his stuff and then drove us to a private hospital.

They did an ECG on him and he was ok.

While waiting for the neurologist to arrive, the staff nurse told me, "Madam, you are very blessed to have Dr Murali as your friend. He is really such a caring friend. I have been a nurse for decades and it is the first time I have seen such a caring doctor. Some people don't really care - not even for their own siblings. But here is one who has proven himself to be a true friend indeed."

I smiled at her and said, "Yes, indeed he is a blessing not just to me, but to all who know him."

Deep in my heart, I knew that if Dr Murali had not been with me, I would have fallen apart, or might have crashed my car when driving. That is what friends are for - for good times and bad times.

I messaged my other close friend, Philip, who rushed to the hospital soon after. He too had just got back from KL.  Dr Murali and Philip and my dearest friends.

I really don't know how I would have fared at the hospital without them. Dr. Murali spoke to the neurologist and gave him a comprehensive run-down of the situation. The fact that they knew each other was most reassuring. Both Murali and Philip were with me until after the MRI test and after his admission.

In between, the doctor asked him if he remembered my name. He said yes, he knew my name but could not recall.

:-(

And then the doctor asked if he could remember my blog, and to my relief, hubby said masterwordsmith.

I did not know whether to laugh or to cry.

It has been most traumatic for me. Worrying about him, listening to him ask the same questions over and over again, coping with his bewildered expressions as he tries to make sense of what is happening to him...

I wish I could have stayed at the hospital with him. But I had too be with my boy. And so, Dr Murali took me home and here I am, still awake, distraught, fraught with worry as to what the future holds....

I skyped with my older boy and his girlfriend at 3am and cried my eyes out. My older boy also cried. :-(

Never in my life had I ever imagined what life is like for those in similar conditions. Now I know. It is indeed most challenging and it is difficult to smile, when my heart is breaking. To smile at him, and pretend all is well...when it is not really so.

Still, I pray that God will heal my dear husband miraculously and that all will be well in good time. He will be going for more tests tomorrow. Do pray for him, dear reader.

Oh - the fragility of life. Live it and treasure it fully!

*My grateful thanks to Murali and Philip who have stood by me through many storms and celebrations. Also, my deepest thanks to all my friends who messaged me via FB, smsed me, emailed or phoned me. Thank you for your comforting words of support and encouragement. Thanks also to the other two doctors who gave their advice via phone. Thank you all for your love and prayers, without which I would not have known the meaning of strength.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
Youll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile


24 comments to The Fragility of Life

  1. says:

    kc My thoughts and prayers.
    "I will be with you" - Isaiah 43:1
    "I will deliver you" - Psalm 50:15
    "I will watch over you" - Psalm 32:8
    "I will listen to you" - Jeremiah 29:12

  1. says:

    Tiger Hope your husband will be alright.

  1. says:

    KS Cheah Dear MWS, hope your hubby recovers fully soon. Be thankful for this wake-up call. You take care.

  1. says:

    KoSong Cafe Paula, sorry to hear about your ordeal in dealing with your husband's memory and other possible health problems. I had just posted my 'Jom Penang, for Assam Laksa' which was in draft earlier, before I read your blog. My wife seems to have memory problems which could be associated with a drug for lowering cholesterol. These days, poor memory, especially among young people is alarming because we do not know for sure, the link if any, to any food or drug. Take care.

  1. says:

    Julian Chin and pray we will...

    Hope things will get better for all of you, mws.

  1. says:

    Bunny i'm sorry.

  1. says:

    mamasita My 2nd time trying to leave a comment.
    Paula!! *hugs hugs kisses*

    He needs your love more than ever now..and he has it.
    Be strong Paula..you're one hell of an angel!

    Think positively and be thankful that whatever challenges and tests God has given you, semuanya you boleh handle.
    Take care dearest Paula.

  1. says:

    edward Dear MWS,

    It is important that a proper diagnosis is arrived at. It may be just a case of low blood sugar or a start to something more serious in nature. Yes will pray for your family. Meanwhile, keep up your spirits.

    "If you smile through your fear and sorrow
    Smile and maybe tomorrow
    Youll see the sun come shining through for you" Charles Chaplin

    God Bless.

  1. says:

    bayi May the Lord give you strength and see you, your husband and family through this difficult period.

  1. says:

    michael This episode is a wake-up call for the lord works in mysterious ways. People always take for granted that all is well as they are busy with everyday chores. In these days and age, life is indeed very hectic for its a rat race for everyone.

    We must always treasure our loved ones everyday. We must give all the love and attention to them. Never take for granted that all is well.

    I don't have the wake-up call in the case of my dad. He passed away one early morning in March 2003 without anyone of his children by his side. He was then 83 years old.
    He and my mom were living together in a low cost flat. I have regretted till this day for not being a filial son.

    People say you come alone and leave alone but this is so sad especially when you have so many children and none was at his side when he breathed his last breathe.

    You must thank the Lord for his guidance in having close and professional friends in this desperate time of need.

    Like always, we the readers, will keep praying for the quick recovery of your husband and to keep your family safe and in good health.

  1. says:

    romblonwriter My sympathy and prayers. Life indeed is so fragile, we don't what lies ahead. We can only cling to our faith in God to make us and our family safe day after day and to give us strength in our daily struggles.
    I will pray for the recovery of your husband and for the safety of all in the family. Though I only know you from your blog, I feel that you are a friend for a long time.

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear KC

    Thanks so much for those precious bible verses! On those promises we stand! Amen!

    Take care and God bless you and yours always. Do keep in touch.

    Shalom

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Tiger

    Thanks a bunch! He was discharged this morning and is on the road to recovery. Take care and God bless you, my friend!

    Warmest regards

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear KS Cheah

    Many thanks for your sincere wishes. Indeed, life is so short and I am truly thankful for this wakeup call. Take care and may your days be filled with love, joy, laughter and health. God bless you and yours always.

    Warmest wishes

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear KoSong Cafe,

    Thank you for your timely reminder of how food can directly or indirectly affect our health. As we grow older, our brain power certainly gets weaker.

    I have heard that cholesterol-lowering drugs have a variety of side effects. Hope that your wife will get better soon!

    My doc has prescribed 30mg of gingko for me daily.

    Thanks so much for your kind wishes. Take care and may God bless you and yours always.

    Warmest regards

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Julian Chin

    Thank you so much for your kindness and prayers, Julian. It is lovely to hear from you! May God bless you and yours today and everyday in every area of your life.

    Do keep in touch.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Bunny

    Thank you for your compassion. Take care and stay happy, healthy and always the wonderful Bunny who leaves great comments that always make me smile!

    Warmest wishes

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Mamasita

    You are a precious friend, dearie. We have laughed and cried together and seen good days and bad days. Through it all, you have stood by me, sometimes silently and sometimes ever so lovingly.

    And once again, you have touched me with the spontaneity of your warm, wise and loving words of comfort, consolation and guidance.

    You are also an angel and my biggest beary (((((HUGS))))) go to you, dearest Mamasita!!

    You take care too, dearie. May the Almighty continue to watch over you and yours always and bless you abundantly.

    Selamat berpuasa!

    Salam and lots of kisses to you!!!

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Edward

    Once again, you have blessed me with your wonderful words of wisdom. Yes, we hope for a proper diagnosis but all the doc can tell us is that structural issues have been ruled out. There could be underlying reasons that have to be investigated.

    Thanks for sharing those words...I did not know that it was from Charlie Chaplin...same words for the song!

    Take care and do keep in touch. May the Lord continue to watch over you and yours and let His face shine upon you all always!

    Warmest regards from B, Nick and me

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear bayi

    Thank you for your prayers! Indeed, God is good, all the time and He has shown us His mercy, grace and lovingkindness!

    Take care and may He continue to bless you and yours with health, happiness and all that your heart desires. Do keep in touch.

    Shalom, my friend!

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Michael,

    My grateful thanks to you for sharing from your heart. I fully empathize with you for I lost my dad a few years ago and wish till this day that I had spent more time with him.

    Like you, I was guilt ridden and it took a long time to make peace with myself. Don't be too hard on yourself, Michael. I was also very hard on myself and I punished myself for a long time and cried buckets of tears through the years.

    Now, I cherish everyday and make the best of what i can. Disappointments come along but I push them aside, choosing to focus on positive things. Still, the pain remains and sometimes haunt but the joy of existence dispels the gloom.

    Indeed, I am grateful to all readers who visit my blog, and for those who have connected with me, prayed and have been the silent listener to my rants and exchanges.

    God bless you, Michael - and your family too. May you continue to be greatly used to spread love, kindness and hope to those around you.

    God bless all my readers too!

    Take care and do keep in touch.

    Warmest wishes

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Romblonwriter

    Thank you so much for such a beautiful and uplifting response to my blog post and my situation. Your deep faith in God and sensitive nature has enabled you to reach out and touch me in my moment of need. Thank you so much for speaking from your heart and for following my blog.

    Thanks also for your prayers and well wishes. Do take care and please keep in touch!

    God bless!

    Warmest wishes

  1. says:

    Chester Khuan I have been offline for a few days and just read this. I hope your husband will continue to recover. Will continue to pray for his health and yours too. Take care.

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Thank you so much, Chester! Appreciate your kindness and prayer support. He is on the mend now..

    Please take care and do keep in touch.

    God bless you and yours always!

    Cheers

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