It was an ordinary Sunday evening. My friends will be getting married next Wednesday and we went out to discuss the programme for the wedding dinner as I was supposed to be the master of ceremonies for the evening. My husband and son did not come along as son is having his school exams tomorrow.
Shortly after dinner, I called my husband to ask him to check my blog and to call me back to let me know the status. Since he did not call me back, I called him only to discover that he had not checked my blog. Fine. I was quite near my home after all and asked my friend to step on the accelerator due to my blogging withdrawal symptoms.
When I reached home, hubby opened the door and told me he had dozed off. Hmmm something was wrong. I just spoke to him a while ago and wondered how anyone could doze off in ten minutes. Walking to the kitchen, I was shocked to see the food still on the kitchen top. Thinking that it was leftover food, I proceeded to keep those dishes.
I stopped in my tracks when he said he could not remember whether he had eaten his dinner.
Come again?
"I cannot remember whether I have eaten dinner," was the sedate response.
*gulps*
And so the nightmare began.
I asked my son what had happened in between and he said he did not know for his dad had warmed up the food and then went upstairs and did not come down. Feeling hungry, he ate on his own and went straight to the study to do his revision.
In a state of panic, I called my close friend, a doctor, but he did not pick up. Then I called my family doctor who was at the police station making a report wrt a lost document and she said she would call me back. Then I called another doctor friend who advised me to take my husband to the hospital immediately. Then my family doctor called back and said to let him stay at home and observe.
By then, I was really distraught. After my husband finished his dinner, I asked him what he had eaten and he could not tell me.
:-(
I tried calling my close friend to see if he would pick up. Phone engaged. Then he called me back and I told him what had happened. He had just flown back from KL and was driving home from the airport. Upon hearing the situation, he rushed to my place, checked hubby, took his bp, asked me to pack his stuff and then drove us to a private hospital.
They did an ECG on him and he was ok.
While waiting for the neurologist to arrive, the staff nurse told me, "Madam, you are very blessed to have Dr Murali as your friend. He is really such a caring friend. I have been a nurse for decades and it is the first time I have seen such a caring doctor. Some people don't really care - not even for their own siblings. But here is one who has proven himself to be a true friend indeed."
I smiled at her and said, "Yes, indeed he is a blessing not just to me, but to all who know him."
Deep in my heart, I knew that if Dr Murali had not been with me, I would have fallen apart, or might have crashed my car when driving. That is what friends are for - for good times and bad times.
I messaged my other close friend, Philip, who rushed to the hospital soon after. He too had just got back from KL. Dr Murali and Philip and my dearest friends.
I really don't know how I would have fared at the hospital without them. Dr. Murali spoke to the neurologist and gave him a comprehensive run-down of the situation. The fact that they knew each other was most reassuring. Both Murali and Philip were with me until after the MRI test and after his admission.
In between, the doctor asked him if he remembered my name. He said yes, he knew my name but could not recall.
:-(
And then the doctor asked if he could remember my blog, and to my relief, hubby said masterwordsmith.
I did not know whether to laugh or to cry.
It has been most traumatic for me. Worrying about him, listening to him ask the same questions over and over again, coping with his bewildered expressions as he tries to make sense of what is happening to him...
I wish I could have stayed at the hospital with him. But I had too be with my boy. And so, Dr Murali took me home and here I am, still awake, distraught, fraught with worry as to what the future holds....
I skyped with my older boy and his girlfriend at 3am and cried my eyes out. My older boy also cried. :-(
Never in my life had I ever imagined what life is like for those in similar conditions. Now I know. It is indeed most challenging and it is difficult to smile, when my heart is breaking. To smile at him, and pretend all is well...when it is not really so.
Still, I pray that God will heal my dear husband miraculously and that all will be well in good time. He will be going for more tests tomorrow. Do pray for him, dear reader.
Oh - the fragility of life. Live it and treasure it fully!
*My grateful thanks to Murali and Philip who have stood by me through many storms and celebrations. Also, my deepest thanks to all my friends who messaged me via FB, smsed me, emailed or phoned me. Thank you for your comforting words of support and encouragement. Thanks also to the other two doctors who gave their advice via phone. Thank you all for your love and prayers, without which I would not have known the meaning of strength.
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
Youll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
kc My thoughts and prayers.
"I will be with you" - Isaiah 43:1
"I will deliver you" - Psalm 50:15
"I will watch over you" - Psalm 32:8
"I will listen to you" - Jeremiah 29:12