Life Without Una

Posted by M ws On Tuesday, December 13, 2011 9 comments
My dear friend, Una, passed away this afternoon at 12.15pm @ Gleneagles Medical Centre leaving behind her beloved husband David and children Kwan, Kit and Ching.

I had my last lecture in college today and had planned to swing by the hospital after my class ended at 1pm. At about 11.30am, Kwan told me that she would be going any time and when the phone rang at 12.15pm, my heart sank. She had left us. I broke down and cried in my class. The kids were silently doing their work. You could hear a pin drop and the pens moving on paper.

Una is one of the four women whom I love very much. The other three being Angela, Linda and Suan. She was born in Hong Kong and came to Penang in the 1990's when her husband was offered a position in one of the factories.

When I was expecting my younger son, Una made soya bean milk/curd, wholemeal and chocolate bread, century egg porridge and lots of goodies for me. Mel mel also did the same. Then when the SARs epidemic started, she would make green bean soup for detoxification and sent it to my house.

Una was always ready to show love. She would always share with me stuff she cooked and never forgot my kids' birthdays! When I delivered Nicholas, she was one of the first few visitors I had and she gave Nicholas a lovely Winnie the Pooh set of clothing.

Even though I was sometimes harsh when scolding her kids for not doing my homework, she was very supportive and never defended her children. Her deep love for David, her patience with her children and love shown to all who knew her will go down in history.

To be honest, Una had always been there for me - both in good times and bad times. If she knew I was down, she would pick me up and take me somewhere for a drink or a meal. Whenever Kit came back (I encouraged him to apply for a scholarship and he left for Singapore and later Japan), for sure, she would bring him to see me or he would call. However, in the last two years, because of our different programmes, we did not see each other that much. Still, I always regarded her as a true, real and most loving friend.

If anything, Una really lived life to the fullest. She was probably one of the world's last great shoppers and had few regrets in her life. Always one with a positive outlook in life, Una brightened the room with her cheery smile, jovial character and happy demeanour.

She has had her own struggles and often times kept it all to herself. However,she was blessed with thee loving sisters, two of whom had planned to take turns to look after her when she fell ill.

After my lecture, I drove straight to the hospital and made my way to her room.

Waiting outside the room together with Una's sisters and children was very trying and soon enough, I could not hold it any more and burst into tears. :-(

Later on, when the nurses had finished cleaning her, they changed her into her favourite outfit and we were allowed to enter the room.

There I stood, heartbroken.

And I looked at Una lying there.

And I wept.

I have been crying non-stop and I don't know when I will stop. My eyeballs hurt so much. Death is an area which I cannot face.

I wondered to myself what would happen to me if Angela died before me. Then my mobile phone rang and it was Angela, speaking words of wisdom and comfort to me.

So I told her - I am so devastated now with Una's demise and really would not know how I would take it if she died.

Angela said, "Check yourself into the hospital and get sedated."

Anyway, I pray Una will rest in peace always and that the family will have closure on her demise. It is not easy to move on without her for in her own way, she held the family together.

Life without Una will be tough, especially for David and the kids. Linda and I have been chatting endlessly about our worries for the children. We pray that God will guide and bless them with direction, good health and wisdom. Una returned to the Lord before she died and prayed with the pastor on two occasions. May she rest in peace always.

The funeral will be held on Thursday from the Batu Gantung cemetery at 10am.

Una, we love you and will always hold you close in our hearts.

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me...

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

David M. Romano

Rest in peace, Una. We love you and will keep you in our hearts always.

9 comments to Life Without Una

  1. says:

    Cat-from-Sydney Aunty Paula,
    (((((((HUGS))))))) purrr....meow!

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Angelina

    Thank you, dearie...*sniffs*


    Take care of your mama and papa, ya?


  1. says:

    eugene Take care my dear,when tears all dried up,life goes on,,,,,,,,,take care ya

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear Eugene

    Thank you so much for your compassion and caring nature. Most of all, thanks for the reminder that when the tears are gone, my life must go on. God bless you for your kindness. I am blessed to know you. Take care and may God bless you and yours always.


  1. says:

    UP41 Dear MWS, sorry to read that. Take care. May peace be with you.

  1. says:

    Jimmy Liew I'm sorry for the loss of your good friend.

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear UP41 and Jimmy Liew

    Thank you both very much for your compassionate response to my post and loss.

    Thank you so much. Take care and have a blessed weekend.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    Antares Times like these when we feel totally crushed by the seemingly impersonal wheel of life, birth, death and rebirth make us humble. We are awed by how vulnerable, how fragile, how precious and ephemeral our own existence actually is. And how petty and insignificant our mundane ambitions, quarrels and prejudices are.

    This forces us to zoom out, to lean back and look up from whatever preoccupies us, to reassess our daily routines, our worldviews... and it is precisely at times such as these that we are often graced with an inner vision of what the bigger picture looks like.

    And once we accept things (and people) as they are - and for a moment cease our endless battle - we are granted an intimation of what awaits beyond the range of our sensory perceptions and experience a deep serenity which transcends all struggle, all sorrow, all grief.

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith My dear Antares

    Thank you for a most moving response to this post. So insightful and sensitively written, your comment really echoes most beautifully what I feel in my heart and could never ever express in words as elegantly like you have done.

    Thank you for always being my spiritual, philosophical and moral compass in this life.

    Years ago, I called you 'sifu' and I still look up to you as one - a most beloved 'sifu' with a vast expanse of love in your heart for all who know you.

    Thank you, Antares!

    hugs and much love

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