Chinese New Year Humour

Posted by M ws On Tuesday, January 24, 2012 0 comments
Never Judge a Man By His Appearance

At a New Year celebration meal an American to the Chinese man sitting next to him, pointed to the soup and asked somewhat condescendingly, 'Likee soupee?'
The Chinese gentlemen nodded eagerly.

A little later, it was 'Likee fishee?' and 'Likee meatee?' and 'Likee fruitee?' and always the response was an affable nod.

At the end of the dinner the chairman of the Yuan-Xiao festival introduced the guest speaker of the evening: none other than the Chinese gentleman who delivered a penetrating, witty discourse in impeccable English, much to the astonishment of his American neighbour.

When the speech was over, the speaker turned to his neighbour and with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and asked, 'Likee speechee?'

The Story of Chen and The Cakes

Chen was extremely hungry, so he left work and went to a local snack bar where he bought a cake. When Chen had eaten the cake, he found that he was still famished, and so he ate a second one.

Even then he was not full up and promptly ate six cakes in succession, but he hadn't satisfied his hunger. Not until Chen had eaten the seventh cake did he feel satisfied.

Then, suddenly, he had a feeling of regret. 'Ah, if I had known this before, I would have eaten the seventh cake first and that would have been enough and there would not have been any need to eat those six others.'

Huang Fu and the Bottle of Wine Parable

Huang Fu was a very rich man who was deliberately tough on his farmhand, Hop. Huang Fu gave Hop a bottle and said, 'Buy me a bottle of wine.'

Hop, the poor farmhand enquired, 'How can I buy you wine with no money at all?' Huang Fu replied disdainfully, 'Anyone can buy wine with money. It takes real skill to buy wine without money.'

Time elapsed and Hop eventually returned farmhand returned with the empty bottle. He handed the bottle to Huang Fu and murmured, 'Enjoy the wine, please.'

Staring at the empty bottle with some dismay, Huang asked, 'There is no wine, how can I enjoy this?'
Hop replied to Huang Fu, with a straight face, 'Anyone can enjoy wine if there is some. It takes real skill to enjoy wine when there is none.'

Huang Fu made a choking sound but was unable to utter a word.

Shanyuan and the Lie. Or Always Tell the Truth

Park was a rogue, a charlatan and a rascal, but he a hard life and barely managed to keep body and soul together. He often was close to starving. So one day Park happened to pass a household that was holding the funeral of one of its family members.

Quickly, Park slipped into the house and cried bitterly in front of the memorial tablet of the dead. Nobody knew him, so, surprised, people asked him why he cried.

'I was best friends with the dead. We hadn't seen each other for months. Now he has passed away, how could I not feel sad? Since I just happened to be passing, I wasn't prepared for this. All I can do now is to cry for my best friend, which is an expression of our friendship.'

The family was deeply moved by Park's comments and promptly asked him to stay to dinner. On his way home Park met an old friend, Shanyuan, whose life was equally precarious. 'Where did you manage to eat and drink today?' Shanyuan asked the roguish Park, who told him the story from beginning to end.

The next day Shanyuan also found a family that was holding a funeral and cried likewise. When they asked him the reason, he replied that he was a best friend of the dead. Before he had finished, however, Shanyuan received a storm of punches and kicks.

It transpired that the deceased of the family was a young housewife.

-Author Unknown-

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

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