masterwordsmith-unplugged

A distraught senior citizen

phoned her doctor's office.

'Is it true,' she wanted to know,

'that the medication

you prescribed has to be taken

for the rest of my life?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence

before the senior lady replied,

I'm wondering, then,

just how serious is my condition

because this prescription is marked

'NO REFILLS'....'

An older gentleman was

on the operating table

awaiting surgery

and he insisted that his son,

a renowned surgeon,

perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia,

he asked to speak to his son.

'Yes, Dad, what is it? '

'Don't be nervous, son;

do your best

and just remember,

if it doesn't go well,

if something happens to me,

your mother

is going to come and

live with you and your wife....'

Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point

when you stop lying about your age

and start bragging about it.

The older we get,

the fewer things

seem worth waiting in line for.

Some people

try to turn back their odometers.

Not me!

I want people to know 'why'

I look this way.

I've traveled a long way

and some of the roads weren't paved..

When you are dissatisfied

and would like to go back to youth,

think of algebra.

You know you are getting old when

everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things

no one tells you about aging

is that it is such a nice change

from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful,

but being old is comfortable.

First you forget names,

then you forget faces.

then you forget to pull up your zipper.

It's worse when

you forget to pull it down....

Long ago

when men cursed

and beat the ground with sticks,

it was called witchcraft....

today, it's called golf.

Two old guys

are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart

when they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy,

'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,

and I guess I wasn't paying attention

to where I was going.

The second old guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence..

I'm looking for my wife, too..'

I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'

The first old guy says, 'Well,

maybe I can help you find her..

What does she look like?'

The second old guy says,

'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,

with red hair, blue eyes, long legs,

and is wearing short shorts..

What does your wife look like?'

To which the first old guy says,

'Doesn't matter,

--- let's look for yours.'

Lord,

please keep Your arm around my shoulder,

and, Your hand over my mouth!

-Author Unknown-