masterwordsmith-unplugged

"Give yourself a mile so you will at least take an inch."

"Boredom is lack of creativity, not lack of options."

"There are many benefits to keeping a secret. Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to tell you what they are."

"Truly, a fortune cookie contains such wisdom as could only be attained by a highly processed confection."

"An aroused lover will make it clear to you that a bed is no place to sleep."

"Jesus must be pretty easy-going, seeing how little he cares about people misrepresenting his intellectual property."

"I would ask all people who do not pursue their dreams to at least make sure that the only time that's being wasted is their own."

"Man observed ugliness and beauty, then forgot which one was which."

"No idea is so bright that it cannot be dimmed."

"A wise man once said, 'Cake is better than pie.'
It was later revealed that he wasn't so wise."

"Youthful indiscretions should be enjoyed by people of all ages."

"Eat when you're tired;
Sleep when you're hungry;
Reset your clock."

"A hard worker knows that a good night's sleep can take place during any time of day."

"There is nothing so disorienting as staring at yourself in the mirror for several hours, only to realize you were never facing it to begin with."

"Privacy is best when shared."

"Mother Nature and Father Time need to get together... put aside their differences."

"A perfect wine tasting is like heaven, but with nicer weather."

"Self-indulgence is a right, not a privilege."

"If only the average person were more attractive there would be so much less need for modesty."

"Love is a never-ending game of on-topsmanship."

"The only people who are truly for hypocrisy are those who are against it."

"To please a woman is to say 'please' to a woman...but at other times not."

"We die a little each day, until that one day, when we die a lot."

"The laziest of people have no problem accomplishing everything they set out to do."

"A weak argument is its own justification."

"Sharing great wisdom in the company of fools may lead them to take you as one of their own."

"I am less surprised that my expectations were met, and more that I had any to begin with."

"It is a pity that we fault works of art for being overrated when really it is the critics who have done us the disservice."

"A liar who is not dishonest with himself is shamefully uncommitted to his art."

"You'll never be bored if you can create your own problems."

"Whenever I meet a person who defies description, I take it as a hint that I should practice my vocabulary."

"I urge everyone against choosing their dying words ahead of time. I said mine years ago and now I look like quite the fool."

"Justice is revenge without the fun."

"No amount of cunning can prevent you from being fooled by yourself."