Historical Pick-Up Lines

Posted by M ws On Thursday, May 24, 2012 7 comments
"Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?"

"Been there, slain that."

"What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"

"They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."

"When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched."

"Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor."

- Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding."

"Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"

"Your hovel or mine?"

"Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?"

"Dost thou practice safe hex?"

"Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within."

"I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart."

"You should be glad I'm not a Viking."

"You would have been ravaged and plundered by now."

"I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!"

"Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?"

"You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!!"

"I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?"

"My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it."

"I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er...PUNISH me, now won't you?"

"You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rapunnzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down."

"I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady."

"C'mon, sweetie...didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away."

"I seem to have lost my s*x slave, can I borrow you for a bit?"

-Author Unknown-

*Posted for laughs

7 comments to Historical Pick-Up Lines

  1. says:

    cin2tan Excuse me , your slip is showing .

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Ahhhh - I have not heard that line since the early 1970's!!! Good one, cin2tan! TQ!

  1. says:

    cin2tan bcos they dun wear petticoats NO more !!

  1. says:

    Shadower Hi Masterwordsmith

    Funny post this. Also thanks for visiting my site at roadlesstraveledindeed. Yes it seems we have heaps in common, not least an interest in Lobo music. They don't make music like this anymore, is all I can say. Which is a tragedy really. BTW from your list of Lobo favourites, in an earlier post, I have noticed you missed one of his biggest hits in late 70s, a last hurrah from Lobo, you might say. Have a listen here, it might pique your interest:

    http://roadlesstraveledindeed.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/where-were-you-when-i-was-falling-in.html

    Love your site, such variety, I will visit often. Do stay in touch!

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Hi Shadower

    My grateful thanks to you for gracing my blog with your wonderful comment and memorable recommendation. Music is a very important part in my life and family. Both my boys are musicians too - the younger one (13) plays the first violin in a local orchestra and is doing his ATCL in both piano and violin. The older one is a music teacher and is a violinist in a jazz band. Their first album under Sony will be released soon! I always wanted to be a musician and am glad my boys are chasing my dream. :-) I seldom play the keyboard and guitar like I used to before and intend to resume soon :-). How about you?

    I suspended my blog for a week and after much encouragement from some readers, I decided to resume blogging even though at that point, I thought it was the end of the road for me. Truly, I am glad I came back for blogging has been such an integral part of my life.

    Am glad you enjoyed this post. I did too!

    Take care and do keep in touch!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    masterwordsmith Dear cin2tan

    Ah - very true. Btw, I grew up watching 'Petticoat Junction'. Do you remember the series?

    Wishing you and your wife a lovely weekend!

    Cheers

  1. says:

    cin2tan YES, & i remember ' some mothers do have them' + 'all in the family'

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