Life's Lessons

Posted by M ws On Monday, August 20, 2012 0 comments
  • Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
  • Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
  • Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.
  • According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman are their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
  • Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  • Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
  • In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  • Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
  • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  • You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

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