- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
- Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.
- According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman are their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
- In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- You read about all these terrorists--most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
.
0 comments to Life's Lessons
Post a Comment