No Masks Please, We Are Human.

Posted by M ws On Sunday, August 5, 2012 3 comments
Life is already complex enough without the masks that people wear. Standing at the threshold of my sunset years, I look back and am quite shocked at how I have changed the most in the last one year or so. The time spent on deleting my Facebook posts made me realize that it was when I found myself that I became the strongest. Sometimes, silence is better than confrontation. It is better to have our head held high in dignity than to resort to confrontations.

I guess being Asian has something to do with saving or keeping 'face' till it is almost natural for many not to say what they really feel in their hearts. And so we stand on ceremony. But I don't and never did. What you see or read is exactly what I am. It has been that way for as long as I can remember.

In the journey we call life, I am sure many of us have experienced rude jolts to reality especially on the colorful side of people.

Why is it that so often, people are cruel?

Unkind?

Some take delight in striking out to hurt others either by accusations, silence or even what they think is a tour de force move? In their attempt to hurt others, it may only be years down the road that they realize the one they hurt the most is themselves.

Being a spontaneous person who says and writes what is exactly in my heart with no pretentiousness, it is extremely difficult for me to fathom the how's and why's of hypocrisy, insincerity and maliciousness.

However, I am glad for the way the years have added wisdom, insight and foresight in the way I see, perceive and anticipate people's moves. And then I retreat or detach myself mentally before they begin their assault. So when they do, the blow is but a gentle one. There have even been times when my counter-blow takes them by surprise.

There was a time when I thought genuine humans are a rarity but by a sweet twist of fate, some blog readers have restored in me faith in humanity.

In such a cold and cruel world, it is easy for idealists like me to become stoical and alien to feelings but thanks to guardian angels, I know when to step forward, when to do a mental retreat before pulling back completely when and if I realize that people are not who they project themselves to be.

I have given up trying to understand the psychological make-up of people or to compartmentalize them into various temperaments or categories in an attempt to make sense of what seems senseless - the things they do or don't do or the things they say or don't say. The halls of experience have enabled me to anticipate when hypocrisy or insincerity may strike again. Yet, I feel no bitterness, only thankfulness that they years have been kind to me for before calamity strikes, I have exited via the escape hatch.

So often, I wonder if all this is the product of modern society when people slowly detach themselves from their feelings/emotions/motivations and rationalize their irrational actions.

Could it be the product of the Photoshopping culture to make something appear more beautiful than what they see?

If only people would stop wearing masks to hide their real selves.

If only they stopped dichotomizing ideals from emotions and deeming the former as more important than the latter.

Perhaps then one would not be alienated from their true selves.

My teenage angst years were made easier by John Powell's books including "Why Am I Afraid to Love?" and "Why am I Afraid to tell You Who I Am?".  He is right. Fear is debilitating and stunts our growth.

Somehow, there are those who perceive honesty as a sign of weakness. Exposing their vulnerabilities might make them seem as though they are at the mercy of those who could see right through their souls.

I beg to differ.

Never have I been happier or emotionally stronger as I am today. I look back and cringe when I recall how emo/needy I used to be. Reaching this point of my life was not an easy process but with strong, steadfast and wise friends such as Angela and Linda, morphing into the new me has been relatively smooth but complicated journey.

The one who is in touch with himself/herself and dares to make a choice of how much to reveal instead weaving a web of deceit or hypocrisy stands to gain confidence, self-respect and be blessed with genuine friends for life.

Thank you to those of you who have extended a sincere hand of friendship via consistent emails and communication. Thank you for who you are, for blessing me with your nuggets of wisdom, even jokes, for the unexpected presents be it in the form of encouragement and emotional support, herbs, food, notes to touch base with me and so much more. The way you reached out to me and responded to my emails have reminded me that yes, there may be darkness in this world but once in a while, the light of sincerity shines through to steer me in the path of hope and more.

May we always be true to ourselves, what we say/do and to be kind to one another, expecting nothing in return and without using others for our personal gain. A tall order but definitely possible.

All it takes is the removal of masks and a little bit of love and kindness. God bless you.

_______________________


MASKS
Don't be fooled by the face I wear,
for I wear a thousand masks,

And none of them are me.

Don't be fooled, for goodness sake, don't be fooled.

Comedy/Tragedy Masks Pictures, Images and Photos

I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that confidence is my name and coolness is my game,

And that I need no one.

But don't believe me.

Masks Pictures, Images and Photos
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in aloneness, in fear.


That's why I create a mask to hide behind,
to shield me from the glance that knows,

But such a glance is precisely my salvation.


That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from my own self-built prison walls.
I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing and that I'm just no good,

And that you will reject me.

Full Mardi Gras Mask Pictures, Images and Photos
And so begins the parade of masks.
I idly chatter to you.

I tell you everything that's really nothing and
Nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.



Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying.

I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me.

But you've got to help me.

You've got to hold out your hand.

Purple & Black Eyemask Pictures, Images and Photos
Each time you're kind and gentle, and encouraging,

Each time you try to understand because you really care,

My heart begins to grow wings, feeble wings, but wings.



With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding,
You alone can release me from my shallow world of uncertainty.

It will not be easy for you.

The nearer you approach me, The blinder I may strike back.
Mask Pictures, Images and Photos

But I'm told that Love is stronger than strong walls,
And in this lies my only hope.
Please try to beat down these walls with firm hands
But gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive.


Who am I, you wonder.
I am every man you meet,

and also every woman that you meet,
And I am you, also.

-Author Unknown-

3 comments to No Masks Please, We Are Human.

  1. says:

    walla It's different strokes for different folks. Even within ourselves as individuals, there is a journey of discovery in which we go through different stages.

    When young, we climb the learning curve. When middle-aged, we establish and defend values. When old, we let go and become nonchalant.

    What is important is not to yield to cynicism for when one is cynical the process of learning and unlearning slows down.

    If we take exception with the behavior and mindset of certain people, we should ask ourselves if they had led our lives instead and faced the same learning curves and experiences, would they be harboring different viewpoints from us? Unless and until we can answer this question decisively, we should suspend judgement on others in much the same way we hope they will suspend their judgement on why we take exception to their traits and ways of communicating their own anxieties.

    One important lesson is to see the unspoken context of what is expressed, and also to note the 'quality of the moment' in which expressions are made. Human communication where it impinges on the real world is not just about selections and sounds of words combined with facial expressions and thrust of discussions; it is also about 'where the person is coming from, to wit what drives her.him to make such statements'.

    With clarity so delivered, one should not be too worked up over what will pass soon enough anyway, bad or good.

    That is a price we all pay for living. Nevertheless, we should try our best to plant good seeds of understanding and kindness every moment we can.

    And so ennoble the moments of our lives beyond just things and feelings.

  1. says:

    cin2tan Zorror-unmasked !

  1. says:

    Grace Beck I read the article above with a sigh...
    Indeed, many are not as what they appear to be
    A sad thing it is...
    If I could ever give you a gift
    I would present you genuity
    As honestly as I can give...
    In the name of friendship
    Which seek no selfish gain...
    Nor any pretentious game
    Save the person of the real me

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