masterwordsmith-unplugged

Customer service representatives answer straightforward pet care and nutrition questions...... however some calls can be quite unconventional as follows:

"My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering...how many calories are in a mouse?"
"I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be before I can breed him?"
"What should I feed a borderline collie?"
"What size litter box do I need to keep my cat comfy?"
"Is it normal for a dog to shed?"
"How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband's toothbrush?"
"My cat passed a stool on the indoor rug and it's stuck in the vacuum cleaner. Any suggestions?"
"How can I get the secret recipe for your special dog food?"
"How do I stop my cat from giving food to the dog?"
"Your food turned my dog into a stud. Now what do I do?"
"Do you know how to toilet train a cat?"
"I have three cats. Is it true that a special brand of cat food makes the poop smell better?"
"Will chewing pop cans remove enamel from my puppy's teeth?"
"Where can I get a six-toed cat?

More Animal Truisms

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then giving Fido only two of them.
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.
Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane. =
We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

-Author Unknown-