Witty One-Liners

Posted by M ws On Wednesday, November 7, 2012 0 comments

Pun of the Day - Funny Puns, Jokes, and one-liners
Great One Liners of the Month
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1. I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.

2. A relief map shows where the restrooms are.

3. When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted.

4. I finally got rid of that nasty electrical charge I've been carrying. I'm ex-static!

5. I didn't have the faintest idea as to why I passed out.

6. I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions.

7. The weigh-in at the Sumo wrestling tournament was a large scale effort.

8. There was a sale at the fish market today. I went to see what was the catch.

9. The race dogs got a bad case of the fleas - they had to be scratched.

10. When asked whether or not I was bilingual, I was about to say I knew sign language, but I figured it was sort of a mute point.

11. The patient decided against an organ transplant. Instead, he changed his mind.

12. Short-order cooks in busy restaurants call themselves 'pressure cookers'.

13. My mate swallowed a cordless vacuum cleaner, they took him to hospital and he is picking up nicely.
14. I told my wife I thought the electrician had said he'd be over by noon, unless I got my wires crossed.

15. The bridegroom got to the church when he was supposed to. He was at the rite place at the rite time.

16. Making up puns about the finest soil is the loess form of humor.

17. To disparage the wind is disgusting.

18. Reading music makes me crotchety.

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