Witty One-Liners

Posted by Unknown On Monday, November 5, 2012 0 comments
  •    A grown-up is someone who suffers from responsibility.
  •     They who are afraid to ask are ashamed of learning.
  •     Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
  •     Sermons and biscuits are improved by shortening.
  •     If men knew what women laughed about, they would never sleep with us.
  •     If your parachute doesn't open up for you, you've obviously jumped to a conclusion.
  •     If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research.
  •     Sign in a travel agency window: "Please go away."
  •     Hummingbirds have forgotten the words.
  •     If you can buy a person's friendship, it is not worth it.
  •     Humility is such an elusive thing. Just when you think you've got it, you've lost it.
  •     I'd never make it on one of those Survivor shows. Every time I even think about eating something like caterpillars, I get butterflies in my stomach.
  •     Change is good as long as I don't have to do anything differently.
  •     People who are wrapped up in themselves are overdressed.
  •     Coincidence is just an euphemism for conspiracy.
  •     George Washington's brother was the uncle of our country.
  •     It's neither conservative nor liberal to be anti-war. It's humanitarian.
  •     Life is like a doughnut. You're either in the dough or in the hole.
  •     When Wal-Mart builds stores in China, will they sell only items imported from the United States?


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