- A grown-up is someone who suffers from responsibility.
- They who are afraid to ask are ashamed of learning.
- Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
- Sermons and biscuits are improved by shortening.
- If men knew what women laughed about, they would never sleep with us.
- If your parachute doesn't open up for you, you've obviously jumped to a conclusion.
- If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research.
- Sign in a travel agency window: "Please go away."
- Hummingbirds have forgotten the words.
- If you can buy a person's friendship, it is not worth it.
- Humility is such an elusive thing. Just when you think you've got it, you've lost it.
- I'd never make it on one of those Survivor shows. Every time I even think about eating something like caterpillars, I get butterflies in my stomach.
- Change is good as long as I don't have to do anything differently.
- People who are wrapped up in themselves are overdressed.
- Coincidence is just an euphemism for conspiracy.
- George Washington's brother was the uncle of our country.
- It's neither conservative nor liberal to be anti-war. It's humanitarian.
- Life is like a doughnut. You're either in the dough or in the hole.
- When Wal-Mart builds stores in China, will they sell only items imported from the United States?
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