masterwordsmith-unplugged

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products.

At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud' hiss-pop' noise.

'The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,' explains the guide.' The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.'

Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a' Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop' noise.

'Wait a minute!' says the man taking the tour.' I understand what the' hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that' pop' every so often?'

'Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine,' says the guide. It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.'

'Well, that can't be good for the condoms!'

'Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!'
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Patrick, who was vacationing in the Bahamas couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice.

"Mate, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya man... you'll have all the babes ya want!"

The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato.

Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!

So he went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "What's wrong now?" "Damn, Mate!" said the lifeguard, "The potato goes in front!!"