masterwordsmith-unplugged

A bus filled with politicians was driving through thecountryside one day, on the campaign trail.

The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch.

A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash andrushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians, he buries them.

The next day, the police come to the farm to question theman. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the policeofficer. "Were they all dead?"

The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

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A doctor, an engineer, and a politician werearguing as to which profession was older.

"Well," argued the doctor, "without a physician mankind could not have survived, so I amsure that mine is the oldest profession."  

"No," said the engineer, "before life began, there was complete chaos, and it took an engineerto create some semblance of order from this chaos.So engineering is older."

"But," chirped the triumphant politician,"who created the chaos?"

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What is politics?

Definition:Politics  Poli (Poly): Many... . Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures

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A political man to a woman, "You look beautiful today!!!!"

The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfortunately I could not say the same about you."

"Sure you could!!" said the political man, "if you could lie as well as I do!"

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A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell.

When he got there,he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell.

In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly longline, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell.

So the executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"

"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," theguard replied." And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"

"The same exact thing," the guard answered."

Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"

"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!"