masterwordsmith-unplugged

As a teenager, one of my favourite habits was squeezing my zits. Shocked? Come on. I am sure many of you did that when you were young ;) Yet, as I grew older, I soon realized that the unbecoming habit of expelling pus from ripened PIMPLES and painstakingly collecting the yellow harvest on a tissue paper would not only cause pain but leave behind crater-like scars. At one stage, my complexion was so bad that I did not even dare to look at myself in the mirror! Fortunately, a healthy diet plus loads of vitamin C soon healed those unsightly marks left behind by my itching fingers. But are we all that lucky?



In our individual lives, we may be carrying scars – the inner fears and pains, bad memories of painful experiences which are very latent obstacles that hinder the way to open communication, loving and being loved. For over twenty years, I counselled many people with all kinds of hurts, scars and traumatic experiences and learnt so much about others and even more about myself. Physical scars can be rectified via cosmetic surgeries, medication or ointments but one takes a longer time to recover from the deep and painful emotional scars inflicted by others, ourselves or circumstances.

There are scars of time…
Those memories that we carry with us...painful but never forgotten experiences that scarred us for life, beautiful and evergreen memories of memorable moments in our lives that we wish we could live again - so much so that we wish we could go into a time machine and do it all again or even perhaps, differently...

Then there are the scars from physical strain...

Perhaps our loved ones worked and toiled to give us what we needed at the expense of their own opportunities in life. And when we look at the scars on their hands, the rough calloused skin or even the wrinkles on their faces, we realize that they love us so much to sacrifice that part of them, that we may live, that we may go to school, that our lives may be richer...that their dreams and hopes for us may be fulfilled...

Then there are the scars formed from rituals or ravages of war...
There could be those who had scars inflicted on them because of customs and rituals.. Because they honored their tribe, they went through the pain and bore the scars as a mark of manhood or womanhood...Such strength is seldom seen in modern society, right?

There are many who may have lost a limb or an eye because they fought for their motherland...And the sacrifices they made - a true love lost, a lifetime of happiness gone in the twinkling of an eye because of a war that never should have been...


But then again, to what extent did/do these scars cause pain and affect us?

Sometimes, we act ‘roles’, wear ‘masks’ and play ‘games’. To me, these are our built-in defenses which we use to protect our vulnerability to the formation and development of scars. Our defense system form patterns of action and reaction in such a way that it can sometimes be so intense that they may take over our true self to the extent that we lose sight of our true identity and worse still, integrity. Is this what has happened to modern society and worse still, the leaders of our country?

What then makes one live a lie or to spread lies and make others believe in them? That is a mystery that I can never unravel...

In reality, each of us experiences deep fears which reveal who we are and that can be quite disconcerting indeed. Perhaps we fear we would be rejected on that count and so we resort instead to seek refuge in our roles, masks and games – a reflex action that has become second nature to many.

Through time, we may be so adept at this that it may be difficult for us to distinguish who we really are, at a given moment in time. What we are and who we are – are these the same?

Such is the complexity of the human condition – a very human problem indeed.

Nonetheless, it is one where we can try to find ourselves, and when we really do, can take off towards the path of growth, integrity and love. Then only do we really begin to live.
I am in a philosophical mood today as my head is reeling from my vertigo. It is tough enough to finish this post so pardon the lack of flow or unity in the writing. Sometimes, I wonder how much longer I have in this world and it is my desire that before I go, I understand how the sum of all my scars, pain and the love I have given and received in this world has made me who I am. Life is not an easy road to travel. We are born, we go through the different stages of life and there is so much that we can choose to experience or to avoid. I just hope that this humble post of mine can make all of us think of how precious indeed are all the various experiences that have enriched our lives in ways that we could never imagine.

We all have our scars, pain and stories of love to tell and it is my prayer that each of us will leave behind a legacy by which we can be remembered...