masterwordsmith-unplugged

A dear reader aka Nick wrote the following piece as a comment to my previous post called HOW TO STAY YOUNG. It is such a brilliant satirical piece that I have asked Nick for permission to post this separately that all may enjoy his satirical humor, laugh a lot, weep a bit and wake up to reality that life is not a bed of roses as painted by some quarters. Thanks Nick, for letting me post this in my blog. Have a nice day!

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USEFUL TIP FOR BOLEHLAND POLITICIANS (FOR INFERNAL CIRCULATION ONLY…ERR…TO OUR “PET CANINE” UNIFORMED DEPT, PLS TAKE NOTE AND IMPLEMENT AS REQUIRED).

HOW TO STAY IN POWER INDEFINITELY

1. Throw (inside a jail) all opposition. inside and outside the party and coalition. This includes NGOs, environmental group, religious leaders and especially Bloggers (it doesn’t matter if he’s in UK or Poland! Find him already!).

2. Keep only sycophants and “cheering parrot” friends. The grouches and truth will only pull you down.

3.Keep learning and using “Machiavelli’s The Prince”!. The last dictator used it and look at how long he stayed in power! Even now, he craps a lot and still those idiots worship him! A “PRIME” example of the timeless virtue of “The Prince”. Err…but first, those idiots MB and Ministers who got F in English, get a good translator and this mean you too Dep Minister “Saya tak layan surat dalam BI”!

4. Enjoy the spoils of your robbery … err hard work.( Err..when can we expect to get the “under table” for approving the RECENT sugar price increases???)

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath but never do it in public lest the rakyat will know we have been screwing and laughing at them all this while.

6.” The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on” is a good line to tell the rakyat even though we are the ones whose giving them misery. E(vil)LOL!!!! Err.. sorry, laughter was covered previously!

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it is mistresses , Ferrari's, toyboys or Palaces. Especially palaces, since your home is your refuge (to those who can’t read between the lines, it should be overseas! And with no extradition agreement too!)

8. “Cherish your health”. Another good line to tell the rakyat! (therefore they can’t blame you for not warning them when the cost of medicine and treatment is doubled).

9. Don't take guilt trips. Instead, take a trip to the Swiss bank vault where you stashed your ill gotten wealth. Or better yet visit your huge ranch in the South American country or a cruise in your luxury yacht to the Caribbean but NOT to where the guilt is, such us the forest near Shah Alam, The PKFZ area and especially not the MACC building (during night time too).

10. Tell the rakyat “you love” that you love them, at every opportunity cos they will never know that you really loved them for being ignorant, meek and easily manipulated.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away (especially true when having the first glance at the amount of oil revenue available for diverting into our own account err.. sorry.. development!)

ENJOY THE TIPS AND MAY WE RULE THIS COUNTRY FOREVER! E(VIL)LOL!

Disclaimer…this infernal memo is a work of fiction. Any similarity to “a” political party/coalition or individuals are purely coincidental but not surprising!

Written by Hamba aka Nick.

Have a great day and may 2010 bring prosperity to all of us.