THE ROAD TO ENLIGHTENMENT

Posted by Unknown On Tuesday, February 16, 2010 34 comments
I don't know about you but I feel very cheated, outraged and absolutely ballistic at the recent turn of events. One after another, leaders seem to want to outdo each other in degrees of stupidity, moronic tendencies as if to say,"Hey you - You're a dimwit but listen to my speech, I'm a greater dimwit. Now listen and then clap!" Some of you may be disappointed that I have not been blogging on some of the issues. I am sorry. I really am. Believe me - regular leaders know that I am very particular about the way I blog on so-po issues and seldom do I use four-letter words or nasty terms. Frankly, at this point of time, I cannot control myself. I have become so ****ing angry that the only way to keep sane is to read jokes. Reading news portals is a health hazard cos it really raises my blood pressure. Today's news on what one leader said about foreigners over HERE is another rib-tickler. If ever some retire, seriously, I believe they can become stand up comedians. I entertain myself by imagining how the audience would throw rotten tomatoes and eggs at them. Sorry. This is madness caused by TNB's power failures (SIX so far!!!) and Neanderthal idiots, dimwits, rogues, plunderers and pirates walking the face of this earth. So before I start cussing, here's something that has calmed my nerves a bit and hopefully will do the same for you and bring a smile to your face. Take care and have a lovely evening!


__________________________________________________________

THE ROAD TO ENLIGHTENMENT

This is the road to enlightenment - may our leaders truly be enlightened to see what they are doing/saying, what they need to do/say and what should not be done/said.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact just buzz off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you' re going to steal your neighbour' s milk, that' s the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It' s not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can' t be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you' re unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you' re a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don' t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don' t have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

16. Don' t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don' t get until just after you need it. - This one is so true for all the you-know-who's!

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Do leave a comment if you wish. I would love to hear from you. Thanks. Have a lovely evening.

34 comments to THE ROAD TO ENLIGHTENMENT

  1. says:

    Ein Li Enlightenment cannot be taught, it has to be experienced!

  1. says:

    Village Boy In today's world, we see many people of a completely different stripe - individuals who are willing to see out their friends to to win personal favour or advantage.

  1. says:

    Hafiz b Shukor "If you tell the truth, you don' t have to remember anything."

    How true it is! Our leaders should be reminded of this simple sentence.

    Salam

  1. says:

    Cat-from-Sydney O Wise Master,
    Shhhhhh... don't use four letter words. Mama will "chili" your mouth (instead of asking you to wash it with soap)...hahahaha...Hey, maybe chili is the answer to all those moronic talks. What say you? We can make tons of money from selling chili powders labelled "Chili Powder for Dummies". har har har *evil laughs*

  1. says:

    Justice One who treats others with contempt will eventually find himself shunned and disliked by those around him.

    Anyone who becomes ensnared in selfishness will discover that in the end he is the one who suffers.

    On the contrary, a person who shows respect for others will not only come to be respected himself, but will also help spread an attitude of respect for others throughout society.

  1. says:

    Nameless Fool I've read quite a number of those quotes and I love them, especially 5, 19 and 22. 22 because you know to whom it also applies. :P I think.

    I do feel sorry for you. I mean, I had blackouts in the last month, but they don't get as bad as what's happening to you.

    As for those politicians, we'll chronicle their stupidity for upcoming voters to see. I'm almost looking forward to the coming semester because I'm bored of doing nothing at home. Can't seem to put myself to editing my work...

    Have a good evening, too, MWS. *hugs*
    Fishfoot

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Ein Li

    Very true indeed! May more Malaysians be enlightened by their wealth of experiences.

    Take care and thanks for sharing your thoughts. Do keep in touch.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Village Boy

    In my life, I have met all kinds of characters - each type has taught me precious lessons. However, some who are making headlines are teaching me lessons in patience and tolerance. Take care and God bless you for the way you are blessing your friends, including me :-).

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Saudara Hafiz

    :-) The only problem is that when the crunch comes, they cannot remember the truth!!!

    If only, they can remember they are human....and that they have a conscience.

    Take care and thanks for sharing your input.

    Salam

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Angelina

    Aduh! I stand corrected!!! I forgot to censor that word and have since changed it to buzz off. Thousand apologies. I only noticed it when surfing the net during dinner.

    Hey - I like your chillie for dummies idea hahaha!!!

    Take care and have a good rest!

    Salam

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Justice

    Thank you for embellishing my post with your wise words of inspiration.

    Respect is so important in modern society and alas, it is also lacking in many areas of our society.

    May more be enlightened to walk the right path, do the right thing and to say the right words...

    Take care and God bless your kind heart.

    Keep in touch!

    Shalom

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi Fishfoot

    Thanks for your compassion. It has been so difficult. I cannot blog, hubby cannot do his work, son cannot study,we have to sweat (and no weight loss either) and I have to hold on for a minimum of twenty minutes to finally get through to the operator!!!!

    Sigh...

    I asked the technician today if we are a fourth world country!!!

    Apart from that, I have been spending the holidays sleeping and getting MORE horizontally challenged. Diet began today and exercise commences tomorrow! Haha!

    Take care and enjoy your evening, dearie.

    Hugs and salams

  1. says:

    QQ Flowing water never stagnates. An active life is always fresh and vibrant. With enthusiastic efforts, we can create something positive. With bright, inspiring words, we can touch the hearts of many.

    Have a nice evening

  1. says:

    Banyak Susah Najib said Wisma Putra had been tasked to explain the facts pertaining to Anwar Ibrahim’s sodomy case to Australian lawmakers for them to get a clearer of the case.

    Doesn't Wisma Putra have more important things to do??

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear QQ

    Your comment reminds me of Edward de Bono's Water Logic and Rock logic. Indeed words are very powerful and we have to persevere to build up each other, no matter how dark the day. And you know what? You are doing just that! Thanks so much. God bless you and have a lovely evening.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Banyak Susah

    They would rather pay attention to what foreigners say about them than how the rakyat who love this country feel! It just doesn't make sense because what they do and say cause so much irreversible damage.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Take care and God bless you.

  1. says:

    Anonymous International Trade and Industry Minister Mustapa has stressed to the international community that sodomy is against Islam and the eastern culture in Malaysia.

    What an insult to the international community!

  1. says:

    Anonymous Obviously, Najib should personally go to Australia to explain to them. Isn't he the person who knows the most about the case after all?

  1. says:

    Banyak Susah Do you think we should explain to the Mongolian government too?

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 9.54 p.m.

    What we say must demonstrate sensitivity to those around us both near and far. If not, it will create more problems and possibly more outrage. Very saddening esp if you read the whole report.

    Thanks for sharing this. Take care and rest well.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anonymous @ 9.58pm

    Not a good idea because he would have to explain many things, :-) not just to Aussies but to many all over the world, especially potential investors.

    What will happen to us? Only God knows and may He deliver us.

    Take care and thanks for sharing your views.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Banyak Susah

    It seems that that has been settled already so all is quiet on that front...The mysteries of life...

    Sighs.

    Take care and thanks for being a caring Malaysian.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    Boleh Man A single concrete effort at the grassroots level is far more nobler than a thousand grandiose but empty theories.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Boleh Man

    How true! May there be more Malaysians who think like you and are ready to make things happen. God bless and keep you.

    Take care and please keep in touch.
    Thanks for sharing your views.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    Anonymous Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.

    - Lao Tzu

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 12.15 a.m.

    Thanks for sharing another gem fro Lao Tzu with us. Take care and thanks for the enlightenment.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    Ein Li All considerations of position, wealth and reputation aside, the greatest and most enduring triumph as a human being lies in knowing that one is doing one's best.

    As it is, true happiness and fulfilment in life lie in taking action to help others.

  1. says:

    Starmandala Pinched one for my sidebar quotes! Thanks for keeping these gems in circulation. Take a break from monitoring local politics - the stuff is highly toxic!

  1. says:

    Anonymous Opposition Leader DS Anwar Ibrahim apologized for his wrong choice of candidates in the 2008 general election.

    Well, to err is human, to forgive is divine.

    Whatever it is, please stop choosing “shaky and unclean” candidates for the 13th GE.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Ein Li

    Excellent quotation! Thanks for enriching my post with your input. We have to reach out and help each other to make the world a better place! And you have shown the way...

    Take care and God bless you.

    Cheers

  1. says:

    Unknown Hi Antares

    Indeed I have taken the advice you gave in your previous comment. Thanks so much for always being my guardian angel. Glad you like this set of one-liners. Take care and have a great week.

    Hugs

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Anon @ 12.42 am

    Ah - we are of the same mind. I just wrote a post on DSAI's apology. Check it out!

    Take care and have a good rest. Di keep in touch.

    Best wishes

  1. says:

    stephen MWS,I think TNB is trying for the magic number 8 in the spirit of the new year! Obviously there is an inherent problem that a quick fix won't do.It's strange that they are willing to repeat it so many times over.I hope they are paid for their overtime work!

    The heat and no aircon must be getting to you!!

    I do notice a difference in words and speeches of politicians divided by the johor straits.
    The ones in the south are always talking about ways to improve the economy and social climate and how to stay ahead of the game to improve the citizens lot,whereas the northern ones keep fighting amongst themselves,lose things,make strange speeches and stir up emotions.
    Must be the northern hot air or something I suppose.A good rain shower to cool the hot air might do the trick.

  1. says:

    Unknown Dear Stephen

    Thanks for your clever comment. Looks like the snow brought to life new perspective for you:-). You are so right in your comparison of the north and the south and I do wish the north could be more like the south!!

    The TNB technical team gave me a detailed explanation of the power outages. Apparently, I am quite famous there for my phone calls and rants :-).

    What to do? I am a delicate old lady who needs the fan!!!

    Take care and have a great week.

    Cheers

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