This bold new, ugly and pock-marked amphibian cleared his throat, stretched his flabby neck and spoke up from the water's edge, "Hey, baby! Look down here! Yeah,come on babe. It's me - the love of your life!"
The obese lady peered down in surprise at the little green froggy talking to her so familiarly and almost choked when she saw how ugly he was. "Do I know you, you green and ugly looking amphibian who should have been born as a toad instead of a frog?"
"You probably do, baby. Yeah. See, I was once a famous leader. I wrote a lot of speeches and made a lot of money and had famous friends and a celebrity career. Hollywood was pretty much knocking on my door and the whole success thing happening pretty well, you know? But then I wrote and gave a speech that pissed off ONE MAN, you know, the Powers-That-Be... The Masters of You-Know-What? Anyway, they got a lot of their blood money together, man and hired some wizard to turn me into a frog. Now I sit in this little puddle eating bugs in some polluted pond in a God-forsaken land."
The lady who used to be reasonably good looking until she started visiting witches and wizards to make her more beautiful, cocked an eyebrow and said softly, "Really? That's quite a tale of woe."
The frog nodded his big head in agreement: "Oh yeah, tell me about it... But here's the best part... I swear, if I was to get just one little kiss from a beautiful fat babe like yourself, I'd turn back into my own form and be the speech-writing genius I was before. Leaders have called me a national treasure."
The young lady cocked her other eyebrow: "Really? That's simply wonderful."
"Yeah," smiled the folky froggy. "Just lay a little sugar on me and I'll be myself again. Then I'll write you a love poem that's sure to be another big hit for me and we can split the profits. Hell, we can do a book called Green on Fats and I can make you rich, baby ! What say you, my love?"
The young woman knelt down and laid her hand open on the ground. The pock-marked fat and ugly wannabe froggy hopped into it happily and puckered up as she raised him to her beautiful cosmetic-surgery reconstructed face.
"Sorry," winked the woman. "It ain't me, babe."
And she started to tuck the complaining frog into the front pouch of her ancient witch's bag.
"Hey, what's the matter with you? Don't do me like that! I said I could make you rich! I'm a famous leader, speaker, whatever. You can buy me for a price. I can do anything - it only takes money, baby!!!" squeaked the frog.
"Yeah, whatever," shrugged the woman as she zipped the pouch shut. "But how much you want to bet that a talking frog's worth more than a famous speechwriter?"
"Aw come on!..." came the frog's muffled voice.
And so, the frog lived miserably all because he thought he could do something - all for money....and the rest of his life was like that of a puppet-on-a-string. He lost his soul, his conscience, his voice, his whole being - he was nothing but a shell of a frog. By Jove, even toads were better off than him!
What is the cause of his misery? His love for money? His unscrupulous nature? The environment? Do leave a comment to share your views, dear reader. I would love to hear from you. You are welcome to add to this tale or expand the conclusion. Thanks! Have a lovely evening.
Please note: The frogs and the lady in this story is a metaphorical construct. No actual frogs were harmed or consumed in the writing of the story. Any resemblance to any living creature big or small, dead or alive or yet to be born is a pure coincidence. :-) This is a work of humour, satire and parody. That means the statements and information contained in these pages are by no means fact, and are offered solely as comedy material or as individual opinion.
Anonymous Aiyo, sis,
Why your blog got sooooo many frogs one, hahahahaha!!!
I wanna take frog soup for dinner tonight.