The following post is a compilation of two comments posted by blogger friend Nick posted in response to my post on 17th July, 2010 on A SPECIAL LIST OF RULES. I am reposting it with his permission. This list is posted for humor and not for any malicious purpose. Have a good laugh, smile a lot and take care. The next sopo post will be up later. Have a great day!
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SPECIAL LIST FOR THE PEMANDU DRIVING THE CABINET ON WHEELS
1. Participating in every General Election and Buy election is optional. "WINNING" it by any means necessary is compulsory.
2.If you push for subsidy cuts, our election war chest gets bigger. If you don’t push for it
(subsidy cuts) then the chances of us winning the election is even smaller. That’s why we always call it price adjustment and NEVER PRICE INCREASE!
3. A faulty submarine is not dangerous at all. It is only dangerous to the submarine’s crew members only. Please always remember that and never volunteer to be a submarine crew member.
4.It is always better being up here on top of the government AND be able to p*** on those way down below i.e “the rakyat”.
5. The only time you have enough money is “there never will come the time when you have enough money, especially when it’s not yours to begin with”.
6. The voters are just the people who you need to keep happy when it is time for an Erection ..err.. sorry, election. Other time, they are just some poor B*&%$#d that you s&^%$d to get more money.
7. When in doubt, talk nonsense, made up statistics and set up a N*** lab. Nobody ever questions things that they can’t pronounce let alone understand. Spin, baby, Spinn!!!
8. A good person is someone who walks the corridor of power and at the same time able to grab millions (billions is better) in one stride. Don't forget, must be able to get away with it! "A-scot-free! Oops...Sorry errata..it's supposed to be "scot-free"!
9. Learn from the famous old man. Hundreds of billions gone but still idiots ..err.. some of the people worship him. Don’t forget to develop selective amnesia. What, you can’t remember the specific of the deal??? By Jove, you’ve got it! You do learn fast!
10.You know you have become a good minister when your "polsec" got arrested with millions of cash and you still have your job. Dey! Macha, ada paham ka?
11. The probability of surviving a party election is directly proportional to the size of your wallet. W.A.L.L.E.T!
12. Never let an aircraft take you to a place where they can extradite you. Especially now when that blasted RPK has opened the can of scum err… or is it SCUMIY? SCAMI? SCOOMEE?
13. Stay out of London, Paris and especially Ulan Bator! No amount of Silver or gold for that matter, is going to help if you’re are in their jail, on their soil!
14. There are 3 simple rules of winning an election. Offer Ringgit, offer Pound Sterling and last but not least offer them even more money (in what ever currency) BUT never ever offer them a big trolley..sorry..the lady who sings!
15.You start your ministerial tenure with an empty money suitcase AND you should end it with a few containers (the 40 ft long ones not those 40 litres water container) full of what else…Money, moolah..or whatever you want to call it!
16. Political frogs don’t eat flies but then again if we throw enough money at them, they will eat anything including their hat or 'kopiah' for that matter.
17.If you see through the window of your office a lot of people demonstrating and seeking your presence to hand over a memo or whatever, just pick up the phone and let the dog loose…err.. sorry….I’m changing my mode…. Ok…lets start over… pick up the phone and call the you-know-who's! End of demo!
18.In the on going battle between our greed and our conscience, I’m happy to say that our greed has a lot more budget (last time I check it was 3.9 Billion), not to mention a lot more weapons and ammo!
19. A good judge is from a Malaysian court and the corrupt ones are always from other country and that is because they don’t know our law and our “culture”. Isn’t that correct, correct, correct?
*posted for humor
Take care and keep smiling! Thanks for the laughs, Nick!
Masterwordsmith
...is trying to make sense of the senseless world in which we live via the therapeutic effects of blogging...
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Anonymous We know the game is over when our opponents are attacking us below the belt.(desperado in Pg trying to undermine an efficient govt).
We also know that the battle for GE13 is the mother of all battles because the top guy is going into the jungle to rub shoulder with orang ulu.
We even know that half the battle is already won when dumbos are courting both PAS & DAP out of desperation. Change, change, change and that is correct, correct, correct.
~ahoo~