Posted by M ws On Saturday, February 6, 2010 16 comments

With all the madness that is happening around us, it IS difficult to keep sane. I thought of blogging on a different plane of madness this evening so here is a fictitious satirical piece which I hope you will enjoy. Any resemblance to any event, person or place is purely coincidental. Have a good rest!

Pulau Gila - With random cries of "Enough is enough," "Do something for idiots now," and "Huh? What's Your Problemlah?", hundreds of the state's BIGGEST MORONS descended on Pulau Gila's downtown area two days ago.

The march, which had no discernible goal, had demonstrators carrying banners filled with idiotic messages. The march, which purportedly had no official organizers, began at approximately 8:45 a.m. in front of what the morons called the Seelee Shopping Complex, when they had actually intended to meet at the courtyard outside the State Executive Office.

"More government accountability, and transparency, and accountability!" shouted Class 1-A moron named Why You So Like That Ah?, addressing no one in particular. "On behalf of me, and all the morons who came here today, listen carefully! We're not going anywhere until each and every one of our voices is heard."

Their first stop was at what the morons thought to be the Governor's Residence. They made a big hoo-ha to try and figure out who was their leader when they realized that they had none because they had been paid to do what they were doing. So, the protestors marched east on Durian Avenue, south along Cempedak Street, paused in another state of confusion when they realized they had forgotten their original destination and then after much discussion and voting, they found their way back to Seelee Shopping Complex to begin their march over again.

The authorities concerned claimed that the gathering was largely peaceful and that a permit had been given for them to assemble by the Department of Do It Your Way. Minutes after they congregated, they started burning their banners and claimed that most of the fires were set accidentally. Demonstrators were visibly angry about many issues of concern including where to sell their food/drinks and many others followed them around as if this were some kind of rally for siblings, friends, neighbours and the whole town.

"Come on out of that precious little claustrophic office of yours, Mr. Mayor. We're right here waiting," Moron Class 2-A nicknamed Your Problem is Not my Problem but My Problem is Your Problem yelled toward the marble-columned State Executive Office. "I didn't come all this way to be ignored. I have a message to give to you!"

Of course no one came out to receive his message because he was screaming in the wrong direction at the wrong facade of the building.

Throughout the day, the number of protesters grew to include not just morons, but more neanderthal idiots, dunderheads, and some the biggest retards known to man simply because they would do the most ridiculous and absurd things all for a pittance.

It is estimated that about 300 simpletons turned up, though dozens were lost while trying to find a place to park, and more were lost after wandering into the nearby Times Park.

"This is—," said Pulau Gila TV's anchorman Pandai Man while broadcasting video footage of protesters shouting "Meet Us! Meet Us!" at the entrance of the State Executive Office. "Actually, I don't know what THIS IS."

Deeply moved by the marchers' plight and lack of neurons in trying to decide for themselves what is real and important in the state, the State Government announced the next day that they will give PG300 000 dollars to completely overhaul the state's education system.

Perhaps by then, morons will no longer march aimlessly in Pulau Gila. Or so they hope.


Do leave a comment if you would like to share your thoughts. Thanks!


Posted by M ws On 4 comments

A Mother-in-law decides to see if her three son-in-law's love her or at least appreciate her.The next day while strolling along the river with her first son-in-law, she lets herself fall into the water and starts to drown. Without hesitation, the son-in-law jumps in the river and saves his mother-in-law.

The next day, in front of his house, he finds a new car, a City Honda, with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your mother-in-law.

She undertakes the same scenario with her second eldest son-in-law. This one too, dives into the river and saves his mother-in-law. The next day, he too, in front of his house, finds a new car: the same City Honda with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your mother-in-law.

The same scenario occurs with the third son-in-law, she falls in the water and starts to drown. He watches his mother-in-law drown while thinking to himself: I've been waiting a long time for this!

The next day, in front of his house, he sees a brand new Mercedez with a little note on the windshield: Thank-you on behalf of your father-in-law.

After directory assistance gave Rosy, her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed him -- and got a woman.
"Is Adam there?" Rosy asked.
"He's in the shower," she responded.
"Please tell him his girlfriend called," Rosy said and hung up.
When he didn't return the call, Rosy dialed again. This time a man answered.
"This is Adam," he said.
"You're not my boyfriend!" Rosy exclaimed.
"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

This post is truncated. Click the next link to read more.


Posted by M ws On 4 comments

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there were two evil friars living outside this small village. The friars had tried unsuccessfully to overtake and capture the town, but finally this time, they believed they had hit upon a foolproof scheme that would allow them to rule the village. They had, through mad scientist experiments in their floral shop, come up with a plant that would devour the townspeople one by one until none were left. They set forth to put their plan into action by planting the man-eating plants so they encircled the village.

As the plants rapidly grew, they began devouring everything living in their path.

The townspeople grew frightened; who or what would save them from their eminent doom?

Finally, the town's elder remember Hugh, a woodcutter who lived on the outskirts of town. Frantically, the townspeople penned a desperate plea for help, tied it to the leg of a pigeon, and directed the bird toward Hugh's cabin.

Meanwhile, outside of town, Hugh had received the note from the townspeople, and realizing they were in grave danger, set forth to do what he needed to do. He honed his mightiest axe to razor-sharpness, grabbed his hat, and off he went.

Chopping his way through the dense vines, he single-handedly destroyed the carnivorous plants one by one, until all were destroyed. Then he set out to rid the village of the evil friars, chasing them out of town. The town was saved!!! The people rejoiced and knighted Hugh for his brave and timely efforts to save the village!!!

And the moral of the story is:

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. (You and only you can prevent forest fires.)

Do leave a comment if you wish. I am still writing the next post which should be up in about two hours. Take care and have a nice day.

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